Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Trigger happy
Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML
Work until you drop dead
Today, my ex shot me. Actually shot me. After I woke up from surgery, I told my manager I would obviously need sick leave. She told me she was shot in the army, and got over it because she’s "not a pussy", so she expects me back at work, recovering from a gunshot to the chest, by Tuesday. FML
Today, I was walking on the sidewalk near my house when a car pulled out of a parking spot in front of a speeding ambulance. The ambulance swerved up onto the grass. Yes, I broke my arm after being hit by an ambulance. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus for my first day at my new school. I tripped in the darkness and split my chin open and broke my arm. FML
The first day of the rest of your life (or not)
Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML
The precious truck
Today, I got fired because, while responding to an emergency page for the volunteer fire department to help find a man in a field with a gunshot wound, I backed into a rock with the company truck that I drive to and from work. Nobody asked about the guy with the bullet inside him. He's OK now, in case anyone cares. FML
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
Kids…
Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML
Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time, and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML
Unstable
Today, it was my first day out of hospital and being able to walk outside. I went to a shop and an old lady backed up into me and elbowed the exact stop on my back the pain starts from. I hit the floor like a ton of bricks and had to go back to hospital. FML
Top comments
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
**** you for trying to be funny.
MrsDepp 12
Except it's 000 in Australia
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (229)
shutterbug1190 14
Holy crap that is horrible! What in the hell happened? I'm so sorry. :/
thisisafunnyname 12
OP got shot in the arm.
Goddamnidiots 12
They mean what caused the event of him getting shot, and not what literaly happened
boofgall 16
Someone pulled the trigger.
RowSeven 5
Goddamn it.
GotBawlz 0
Sounds like Compton to me
biggestfan23 11
I didn't know people only get shot in Compton. Thanks for bringing this to my attention
drewnewton 0
if there wasn't a location I would have thought the same thing xD
dirtroadboy 7
the irony.. did yu at least stitch yourself up?
xShannonxSammyx 7
Get better, OP. :)
farnsworth 3
They should train pizza guys like police officers that way u know they are going to show up faster Mugging situation: "Hello? Yes I'm being mugged, Also can I get a large pepperoni? Hold on a sec, Do u want anything?"
MandyMeow_fml 18
Oh my gosh! You poor thing.. I hope you feel better soon!
saranndipidy 0
what's with all the jokes? like someone being shot is funny?!
xShannonxSammyx 7
If Bieber were shot by a crazed fan, it'd be pretty funny.
KriiFahMoro 9
Well since I'm a sadist, I thought this was actually quite entertaining.
failmaster069 7
lmao gtfo all fml is is laughing at peoples failer and if they didnt want to make people op wouldnt have posted it
CryMoreFMLs 15
58 - I'm laughing alright, but it's more at your butchering of the English language more then anything.
obamathellama 0
Failure* didn't*
SLEinTN 7
Is your profile picture you? It looks like the actor Alfonso Ribeiro, who plays Carlton on Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Katastrophe101 8
Cool story, Carlton.
BostonBruinsFan 8
Perfect 25, but all the probs will b solved too!!
Unlucky_Gun 0
You're a dumbass and you are the fail master
ChaosAngel17 14
Think of it as on the job training.
riptor911 10
LOL
redneckEMT21 2
Shit happens. If you plan to be a medic, get used to it. It happens in our line of work all the time
FireEMSchick343 0
your right!
godisnowhere41 5
Better shot in the arm than taking an arrow to the knee.