Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML
Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML
Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they'd remembered, my dad's reaction was, "Oh! Really?" My mom's was, "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML
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Top comments
FATSQUIRELL69 0
lmfao hahah your dad is funny, hes just probably joking around, most parents do that
breenntt 0
lmao. this made my day.
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Comments (134)
EvilDave 13
You gave him a joke gift, he gave you a joke response. You didn't appreciate the response and he probably didn't appreciate the joke gift.
generalfubar 0
maybe if you moved out of the basement or pay rent he might have tried to erase your mom instead...
AlvaTheStarvingA 0
.... Who gives someone an big eraser for their birthday? 'Okay, this one is from OP...' said your father, ripping off the wrapper of your present. 'oh, it's a...big eraser.' at that moment your father thought; 'Why? Why has the lord given me a weirdo?' then tried to eraser out on you. The end. :)
dudeitsdanny 10
Is OP his nickname at home to? Poor OP.. Bad enough your name is Orangutan Penis..
bluekiwi_fml 0
lol ydi
Peytonlikesme 0
What a douche bag!!! Asshole
deafeningsilence 8
It's called a sense of humor..
awhsum 0
hah, that sucks! x)
mario75 0
POWNED
Master_Of_Sand 0
YDI for being born before marriage.
voveraite 7
Um, after reading the first line of the FML, I guessed the ending. You *really* should have seen it coming, such a gift to a parent screams for such a comeback. Which makes me wonder, why buy joke gifts if you don't have a sense of humour?
1337chick 4
YDi, OP. What a crappy gift. It has no function.