Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML
Today, I threw a party. My drunk boyfriend decided to bring my 50-inch flatscreen TV downstairs from our bedroom. The TV didn't make it. FML
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML
Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
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Top comments
simplyabsurd 0
I suggest ditching the psycho. A 42" plasma? I certainly hope she's going to buy you a new one. But my guess is she doesn't even have a job. Just because it has legs and talks doesn't mean it's worth dating.
deaditegirl 0
Well, now maybe you can get a girlfriend who is slightly less crazy...
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Comments (376)
Broekemania 0
I agree with #3. A women that jealous ain't worth staying with. Second, I would sue her for the stuff she broke.
log1k 3
what a ******* dumbass, make her pay for that shit!
b2redneck 0
OHHHHH, dude I feel your pain, this totally sucks!! What was your mom doing at your house last night leaving a note about how much fun it was, and why wouldn't she put her name on it?
rttr 18
Voicemail, dumbass
asttro_boy 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
AHAHAHAHAHAH! You're girlfriend just destroyed your stuff and called you're mum a ****! LOL
Seti_fml 0
I dont care if she is my GF, I'd make her pay for it. If she refuses call the police... i mean, that would be a lot to replace.
suckerz 0
women see these things in movies and think it's the normal way of reacting... that way the rest of us normal females get the reputation of being crazy... kick her psychotic ass out... AND make her pay for the stuff... what a bitch
Mr_Kennedy 4
Sue your girlfriend. You'd be an idiot if you didn't.
urallosers 0
apartment insurance is available for most people that qualify. it protects all things located within an apartment (except for certain things like cash on hand, etc.) I had apartment insurance for three years while I lived in Boston, it cost $300/year. My apartment was broken into once, and a good majority of my electronics and textbooks were stolen. Everything was replaced within a week with no charge, they even caught the suspect a little while later and i was able to get a few more things back. But seriously, wtf were you thinking when you left your cell phone with your girlfriend while u were gone all day, and y r u still going out with her.
drakeallday 3
but renters insurance doesnt cover crazy ass gfs
purple5 0
fyl, wow...i hope your girlfriend pays for all the damage she caused. i'm just wondering why she wasn't at the party(s) with you - seeing as she IS (well...possibly was) your girlfriend and it was your birthday. Either that or she had work so couldn't join you. But yeah, she owes you big time.
thisishilarious 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i blame you, obviously your gf doesnt know your mom. also who the **** gets drunk with their mom instead of their gf? are you stupid?
rttr 18
Who said they got drunk? OP could have just spent time with his mom, and the mom was happy the OP was thoughtful enough to find time to talk to her.