Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML
Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, I woke up realizing my 40th birthday is on Sunday and I’ll only have about 40 more years to live after that. FML
Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML
Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML
Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML
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Top comments
XBurytheCastleX 25
I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL
xlord 27
Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?
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Comments (53)
youngindian 10
Everyday is a step closer to death.
patrickalamo 48
Reality bites
joe3_fml 15
Might as well save some money on those caskets. You never know.
Neesalun 20
Lol! I started getting all the AARP, funeral planning, and senior mag offers when I turned 40yrs old too ;) I'm still slightly insulted since I, hopefully, won't need these for some time.
vikky538 29
I bet you can celebrate your birthday in las Vegas... go party and don't think about these stupid things...
martin8337 36
A bottle of cialis or viagra would have been a lot better.
thing1andthing2 8
Um, I'm a woman. No need for viagra. My lover is only 29 so we're good when it comes to erections.
maex 18
Awh :( well, nonetheless happy birthday!
JustinJK 21
I want free skin care products in the mail. That stuff is expensive:/. I wouldn't be insulted, but thankful haha ?
WattledParsley 11
u old LEL
shithappens0FML 2
bad luck?