Today, my girlfriend firmly believes that wild Karens should be classed as vermin, as proven when we met a screaming Karen in Starbucks and my girlfriend jumped straight in there and kicked her ass until she stopped screaming. I'm now waiting to pick her up at the police station. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
Today, only some excellent security footage stopped me being arrested after I bumped into a young girl while looking at my phone and her mother, an Uber Karen, accused me of sexual assault and an off-duty woman police officer tackled me to the ground before I'd even took off my headphones. FML
Today, after a very long and stressful day at school, I had to go to work right after. There's no better way to start my shift than getting screamed at by a Karen. FML
Today, a total Karen climbed into my passenger seat and told me she was going to give me a bad Uber review for being late. I ain’t no Uber driver, but she refused to believe me. I had to call the police to get her out of my car. They had to taser her to get her out. FML
Today, I’m ready to quit my job. An evil Karen became so enraged that I couldn’t let her use food stamps to pay for pet food that she launched a can right into my face. They called the cops and I had to give a statement, while holding an ice pack against my swollen, bleeding eyebrow. FML
Today, I had the absolute pleasure of introducing my Karen boss to a Karen customer. The screaming lasted over an hour and I filmed the whole damn thing for laughs. She then docked my pay for not working for that hour, but damn was it worth it. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, while out with my girlfriend, her stalker ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and beat the shit out of me. While I was on the ground, my girlfriend got angry at him, and went to go “talk with him in private.” She’s nowhere to be found, and hasn’t picked up her phone in four hours. FML
Today, I realized that having someone crazy about you is no fun when they’re actually crazy. My girlfriend tried to physically fight the barista at Starbucks for offering us a wrong made drink for free. She thought the girl was flirting with me and tried to jump the counter. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
OMG, she's living the dream. Shame about the arrest, though...tell her to work on her exit strategy for next time.
Iamthebanzai22 21
I like her already.
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Comments (9)
Iamthebanzai22 21
I like her already.
JasonThorn 23
OMG, she's living the dream. Shame about the arrest, though...tell her to work on her exit strategy for next time.
RichardPencil 32
Mandela MLK Gandhi Your girlfriend Heroes who were jailed by oppressive authorities for pursuing justice.
Thaylok 17
"Justice"
MidnaLink 35
Your girlfriend for the WIN!
JackWood 21
Takes one Karen to know another. js
Crowned Sataness 12
your gf out here doing the Lord's work. not all heros wear capes
mccuish 25
She’s a keeper
D J's MOM 17
your gf is freaking awesome! we all dream of doing that, but don't like jail lol.