Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
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Top comments
captain_crook 17
someone who likes succulent chicken? :P
rxsey16 16
So you're the dad I'm assuming? Better go talk to your wife.
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Comments (73)
ptellini 7
Why does his mum always call you that?
muarif 19
But..why does you wife call YOU a cocksucker? O.o
quirby 4
Maybe OP and his wife are divorced.
mistress_paz 30
No assume you're separated from his mother? Defaming the other parent can be grounds for custody change.
Merylwen 24
But it's not defaming if he really is a cocksucker. We don't know that. :)
Ianamis 6
No it is defaming regardless.
DanCastellaneta 17
Yeah there's only one cocksucker in your household an it ain't your son.
DanCastellaneta 17
*and DAMMIT
elvispaada 11
Reminds me of an SNL with Jimmy Fallon and Janet Jackson. The Cork Soakers..
gintwinsmoore 20
well #41 JJ is a **** sucker...lol
abNormal62 23
So…… Why does she call you a **** sucker?
SadSouthernBell 18
I know the feeling. My ex keeps telling my children that I'm going to hell... Because I was tired of his abuse
Pranav175 14
I can feel your pain, bruh.
thejonac 21
you really need to talk to the mom, just bc she's the mother doesn't mean she can speak degrading, mean and vulgar words to your child
david99021 15
I would have said, "it's you son"
Scryll 17
Um no, it's never the kids fault in a fight between parents
nhbasskid13 23
what the ****, 53?