Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
captain_crook 17
someone who likes succulent chicken? :P
rxsey16 16
So you're the dad I'm assuming? Better go talk to your wife.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
captainsmegma 12
Have junior Google it.
drrobotnik1 18
"today, I was beta."
weatherxveins 29
Whether this is an fml or ydi really depends on whether or not you're actually a cocksucker.
Ianamis 6
No one deserves to have their child brainwashed into thinking their Dads an asshole irregardless of the situation. Would you say the same if it was reverse and the child asked their mother what a bitch was because Dad always calls you a bitch?
natashamilan 13
My dad calls me a cocksucker every day...
ciammmm 11
This made me giggle. When my husband and I play argue or when he burns me with a joke hilariously, I call him a cocksucker. Hahahaha. Of course we also have a habit of calling each other *****, floozies, and trollops. Maybe it is her nickname for him ;) L for looove!
PePziNL 20
Well... Are you one?
gintwinsmoore 20
My mom called my dad a **** sucker all the time when I was a little girl and I never forgot that. When I turned 18 I finally asked her why. She said he WAS a **** sucker. LOL!
BtwYoureAdopted 21
Am I the only one who found this deeply confusing at first?
briannaaaleighhh 14
Ever since I was little my dad always said that around me, and I always thought it was a bad word for shit because I didn't know what a dick was XD