Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Today, I got to school and my stuff was searched by a police officer, which isn't normal. As I walked to my locker, there were several more police officers patrolling the hallways. Turns out a VERY troubled kid who was expelled last year had issued a threat, so they're taking excessive precautions. This is America. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
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Top comments
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
- Quilting isn't knitting. That's like telling someone to drill a hole with a welding torch. - You can knit while between classes, or waiting for a class to start, or riding a public bus to campus. - The only time you shouldn't have knitting needles is when you have your crochet hook.
Madeline69 0
Well it's a good excuse for cheating "Are you looking off someones paper?". "Why no I'm just finnishing this quilt and there are two big convienient holes in it."
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Comments (56)
KooKs_14 0
I thought u were a guy... Then I would've had something to say... :)
thehazeman 0
that's more of a MLIA, not FML
joooeee 3
yo
MissTaco 7
You should get wooden kind :) then know one could hear them ;D
frokeyman92 9
Today, I finally came back home from thirteen months in Iraq. Haven't gotten laid in a year and I was looking forward to loving on my wife and having a good time. My wife decided to gain about 100 pounds when I was gone. FML.
mmmkayyy 6
Oh awkward I thought you were going to say "the counseled weapon" was a boner...
Liamj774 36
Stan them with the needle
sydstoomuch 19
Those can be dangerous though