Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML
Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML
Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML
Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML
Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML
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Top comments
mn_shr 22
Seriously OP, what era are you from?
DocBastard 40
"DON'T ******* MOVE!! IF YOU DO, I WILL GENTLY COOL YOU WITH THIS! I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR!"
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Comments (110)
mn_shr 22
Seriously OP, what era are you from?
sarah6786 14
Op forgot to mention its school inside of the prison they're sentenced to.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Guys. A pocket fan is a serious offence... And a lethal weapon. Have you ever stuck out your tongue and touched it with a moving pocket fan blade? If you say no then you are lying. And if you really haven't then you should know that it counts for a lethal weapon
Kn0wledge123 21
I wouldn't be surprised if this was a "zero tolerance" school. They always do dumb shit like this.
AntiPrude 26
Everytime I hear a story like this, or one about kids getting detebtion for kissing; it makes me wonder how lifeless and shriveled up the losers who run these schools must be. And its funny, because it only drives teenagers to hate conservatism.
MrSassypants 34
#51 I know you didn't mean to misspell it, but I like that word now. "Detebtion."I'm going to add that to my list of words I mispronounce on purpose. Like edumacation.
Bloink 25
You haven't heard? All the cool kids have pocket fans! (Pun intended)
SarcasticShade 16
I guess they weren't a fan.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
51- I know exactly what you ******* mean. My school has zero tolerance for even touching another student. You can't even hug or give a high five. These schools seriously need to lighten up. What the am I gonna do in the 1 second it takes to give someone a high five? Transfer all the Nation's information to a hard drive for my own personal gain?
gabe222 25
@51- You do realize that most school teachers are liberals right? So why would kids hate conservatism? If anything the kids would hate liberalism. I for one love conservatism, keep the damn school rules the same as they were before all this stupid zero tolerance bullshit
Kn0wledge123 21
@80 - teachers don't make school policy.
Odis12 11
Don't you know that pocket fans can be used to make meth in your locker? And have you ever felt the sting of those foam blades?
Sports_guy3 28
According to Assassin's Creed Brotherhood multiplayer, pocket fans are very dangerous.
TvSmith 8
Not if the fan tips are made of foam, because they do have pocket fans like that and it's completely harmless to someone old enough to use it. So maybe that's what OP was talking about?
bigwiensch 15
people are too sensitive these days
caohm 18
looks like you were just too cool for school
MrSassypants 34
People are too sensitive? I CAN'T BELIVE YOU JUST THAT ABOUT ME! Oh, and I know it is about me because of the use of the word "people".
IworkAt711 14
40- Not if they took the fan away.
incoherentrmblr 22
Indeed, especially when a PB&J sandwich on white bread is considered racist...
silverstream20 20
Agreed. But if that is people in general, does that mean people on the internet are over sensitive too?
ButterflyHaze 25
Better not bring a paper airplane or you'll get a detention next time :P
iAlissa 34
May I ask why you had a pocket fan to begin with?
RedPillSucks 33
Some schools don't have air conditioning. Although its kind of late in the year to need it.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Some schools actually turn on the heater in their classrooms (shocking I know). That would be fine if there were only a couple of people in the room, but when there are 40+ kids cramped in a room, constantly breathing everywhere, then it might get a tad warm.
MrSassypants 34
#34 And that's why people need pocket fans for; to take out the children so it won't be so hot.
AntiPrude 26
Probably a hipster thing. "So vintage, mann"
shufflyn 16
do you really not know what they were doing with a pocket fan...
ninjaCarebear 17
Those foam blades can be dangerous.
brackaman 18
For some reason I just imagined OP having those bladed fans that Kitana uses in mortal kombat.
Sports_guy3 28
If you've played Assassin's Creed Brotherhood multiplayer, then pocket fans are very dangerous.
Ambient25 25
Don't you know that when combined with water the pocket fan can be a Weapon of Mass Distraction...
nutella_girl_fml 15
haha..distraction :)
dontkilljay 14
I'm betting if you were hard pressed you could kill someone with a pencil faster than you could kill them with a pocket fan. Oh, the system...
BoltTheSuperdog 22
OP should have told the principal that!
winston5 6
Take all your pencils home and when you teacher asks you why you don't have pencil say it's to dangerous
1947Chevy 17
I did that once because my car keys were targeted as weapons.
Phoebe_Buffay 14
..It's November. ..
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
..Yes it is. ..
MCRaddict15 15
It might be hot, depending where OP is from. Places like Arizona are really warm right now.
KayleeFrye 39
You DO know that weather is different in other parts of the country/world, right?
dane18 12
Why would you have that