Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Today, I got to school and my stuff was searched by a police officer, which isn't normal. As I walked to my locker, there were several more police officers patrolling the hallways. Turns out a VERY troubled kid who was expelled last year had issued a threat, so they're taking excessive precautions. This is America. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
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Top comments
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
- Quilting isn't knitting. That's like telling someone to drill a hole with a welding torch. - You can knit while between classes, or waiting for a class to start, or riding a public bus to campus. - The only time you shouldn't have knitting needles is when you have your crochet hook.
Madeline69 0
Well it's a good excuse for cheating "Are you looking off someones paper?". "Why no I'm just finnishing this quilt and there are two big convienient holes in it."
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Comments (56)
log1k 3
The only reason I can think of a person having a knitting needle is for life drawing classes. I had to use one for 2 years in college. It's used to help keep our drawings in proportion. You hold it up at eye lvl with your arm fully extended and aimed at the model, and basically measure the proportions of the body so it looks correct on paper when you draw. Other than knitting, that's the only possible reason she would have one
joyfulflower 0
OP, if I were you, I'd be laughing with them instead of making an FML out of it. Grow up.
Pandasaur 0
OP probably IS laughing. A lot of people post FMLs because they're funny. Her name is "dangerousknitter." Would someone really angry make a name like that?
lologirl419 0
well obviously they were laughing at the fact that someone thought it was a weapon. You didn't think that (unless you escorted yourself out of the exam), so duhh, they weren't laughing at you. What, you think they were laughing because you were carrying knitting needles or something? Grow up; this is not an FML.
iheart 0
yeah. lets start by cleaning out your crap filled mouth and cooking your bitchy ass.
KarmaLanding 0
Welcome to the Police State. It only gets worse from here.
dirtybird2212 0
yup...
DameGreyWulf 1
They shouldn't be laughing at you, you should be laughing at THEM.
Ninjaface 0
Let's see them laugh after you stab someone to death with your knitting needles. Those things are scary.
cheapsheep_fml 0
LMAO. knitting a scarf?
Queuebert 0
Would you have preferred expulsion? YDI for not carrying actual weapons and making their day a little better. Lighten up, Nancy.
katrinaa_13 0
duuuuuude, i actually watched a movie once and the little girl was about to get raped by some creepy guy driving by, and she took out her knitting needles and poked the guys' eyes out! THEY SHOWED EVERYTHING! D: