Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML
Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for a year is and always has been gay. I was apparently "an amazingly convenient beard" for his ultra-religious family. FML
Today, I came out to my parents as lesbian. Surprisingly, they were OK with it… just as long as I still marry a dude, give them grandbabies, and keep the whole lesbian thing a deep, dark, shameful secret that we never talk about again. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I finally came out to my dad, who is a priest, as gay. He responded by splashing me with holy water to "banish the demon within" me. FML
Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML
Today, while I was out with my wife and kids, I saw a happy gay couple and it reminded me of the life I could've had if I wasn't raised by such strict religious homophobic grandparents. FML
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Top comments
Ruthie86 3
I made an account just for this. That was, literally, the funniest thing i have read on this site.
smalltownman 15
That sounds like a guy I'd like to be friends with. lol
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Comments (148)
SunshineX7 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
My advice? Don't invite Daddy next time!
ProfessorMctitie 20
#1 you silly willy
Wutdafuqq 24
Yes, just stop inviting your father to family get togethers. That really shows your appreciation toward you own dad. And when your kids grow up, maybe they won't invite you to occasions either.
Rkikkas9713 25
Must not have a daddy to invite to get-togethers.
jedijesus 9
No one asked for your shitty advice
R2Y2 22
97, I definitely don't agree with you, but the pure blunt nature of your comment made me laugh.
Fairyjoshy 13
I think they would invite #1 to family gatherings simply on virtue of being a not-shitty parent. Shitty parents don't deserve to be invited to family gatherings. Simple as that.
_cameronkc_ 17
did we ****** ask you?
LittleMissShadow 16
Are you sure he wasn't intending for this to happen?
assassinbanana0 20
Even more reason to not bring him around next time
photographer49 22
#5 OP should not stop inviting her father to family get togethers because of this. If OP needs to she can talk to her dad about it later but not inviting her father to events is so not the way to go.
Scorpio1691 29
If i had to guess. dad did this so he would be uninvited in future. Make it so he would not be missed.
ohjoy15 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Whether your husband's family was religious or not, that's still an extremely disrespectful thing for your dad to say. Even if he was kidding.
Joshwarrior 39
I'm Catholic and I found it amusing. To many people are overly sensitive now. I agree it may have been in bad taste, but I'm curious what all hell breaking lose looks like in this situation.
Enslaved 38
It's a shame that homosexuality is sometimes associated with pedophiles. Being gay doesn't mean you want to molest children.
kirkaygri 18
Catholic here. I thought he was making fun of gay priests, of which there are lots, not pedophiles. I also found it funny but I like a good off color joke every now and then.
kewpiesuicide 29
I think a lot of people are actually skipping the fact that this is a really disrespectful joke about gays, not just about religion. I am in no way easily offended but there is truth in jest and gays are fighting for their rights all over the world right now. Jokes like this that make them all look like promiscuous pedophiles don't help our cause.
llalala_fml 19
#3 I can't believe you're being downvoted. Those comments were incredibly disrespectful of gays and women nevermind the fact it was putting down catholicism and comparing gay people and child molesters.
sanecatholicman 12
#3 not really fair that priest = pedophile message either.
smalltownman 15
That sounds like a guy I'd like to be friends with. lol
1dvs_bstd 41
It's hilarious and kinda true.. kinda very true. The things guys do and go through to get laid even in a bar.. is nothing compared to just going to a gay bar.
Johnnycake23 42
I laughed my ass off!!
bsmallz3 12
Well at least your dad was right.
Doubtful_Judge 23
You should never bring up homosexuality to extremely religious people, they dont react well. Sorry you didn't warn your dad.
ohSNAPyall 27
I think they were more upset about the pedophilia aspect.
russfml 31
The truth hurts lol
Rababco 29
I don't think it's the homosexuality that's insulting but the suggestion that priests are pedophiles. If OP's boyfriend's family is Catholic then I can understand why they'd be insulted.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Sounds like a bunch of butt pirates to me
1dvs_bstd 41
what??
Shadowblast423 3
I think it is a term for gays. I heard it used as ass pirates from my Agricultural teacher.
Ruthie86 3
I made an account just for this. That was, literally, the funniest thing i have read on this site.
False_Stupidity 42
Welcome to FML!
Epikatz 22
Now you'll never get out.
gonezero 2
lol, me too.
assassinbanana0 20
I'm sorry, OP! I hope your husband's side of the family has no ill will feelings for your dad's ignorant comment
noobienick 19
What part of "all hell broke loose" makes you think that they wouldn't take it badly?
assassinbanana0 20
Not what I said, I said I hope they don't hold her accountable for what her dad says. I hope they aren't going to be upset at her.
assassinbanana0 20
I reread what I said and realized that I could have worded that better. My apologies.
Fwibblwfwabble 11
While this is bad and I feel sad for you OP. I can't help cracking up at that image