Today, I got to school and my stuff was searched by a police officer, which isn't normal. As I walked to my locker, there were several more police officers patrolling the hallways. Turns out a VERY troubled kid who was expelled last year had issued a threat, so they're taking excessive precautions. This is America. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, my school caught a kid with a firearm, so during our lunch period we had to stay in our classrooms and nobody can leave and nobody can get food. FML
Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML
Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML
Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got detention at school because a girl told the principal I was stalking her on campus. I wasn't stalking her, we just have very similar schedules. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tiptoppc 21
We started the craze, so yeah, it’s an American generated issue. The alternative was to put money into the school system and mental health system to intervene before they happen with appropriate care. But anytime someone writes a check, it’s to police to ruin lives, and jails to make sure they are institutionalized for the rest of their lives. Maybe investing in the community would help greatly, but no one in power does, as that doesn’t get them bribes and profit like tipping society over into almost civil war and using blame to create a villain out of anyone/thing other than the real culprits. Because it’s more profitable to stoke infighting as it creates an easy feedback loops. We should officially start the purge. I nominate the us government leaders as the tribute for the next hunger games.
Hangryko 32
@Nikki - It's not about the precautions, but because OP's government won't repeal the Second Amendment, abolish the NRA, or approach gun law reform in any meaningful way, among other things.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
Nikki 17
I don’t think those precautions are excessive purely because it’s America
Hangryko 32
@Nikki - It's not about the precautions, but because OP's government won't repeal the Second Amendment, abolish the NRA, or approach gun law reform in any meaningful way, among other things.
tiptoppc 21
We started the craze, so yeah, it’s an American generated issue. The alternative was to put money into the school system and mental health system to intervene before they happen with appropriate care. But anytime someone writes a check, it’s to police to ruin lives, and jails to make sure they are institutionalized for the rest of their lives. Maybe investing in the community would help greatly, but no one in power does, as that doesn’t get them bribes and profit like tipping society over into almost civil war and using blame to create a villain out of anyone/thing other than the real culprits. Because it’s more profitable to stoke infighting as it creates an easy feedback loops. We should officially start the purge. I nominate the us government leaders as the tribute for the next hunger games.
Vesi 30
Better yet! The billionaires/multi-millionaires that bought both government AND the supreme court. =)