Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with a majestic swan by a lake. Just as I was about to take the pic, the swan suddenly got visibly bored of my shit and chased me into the water. I emerged from the lake looking like a soggy, defeated swamp beast. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML
Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML
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Top comments
dweeds508 24
At least you tried to overcome your fear. Don't listen to the people who laughed at you.
DocBastard 40
Swans have long necks, so they're very easy to strangle. They're also delicious when served over pasta.
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Comments (89)
eternal_malaise 10
Swans can be hostile. They're known to attack people in water, especially if they have young around. Some species are more likely to attack than others.
Raum 19
Bread is really bad for waterfowl, btw. And I don't imagine a fear of swans is something that interrupts your daily life all too often. So, I say kudos for trying to get over your fear, but it's probably not worth the hassle of dealing with those mean things again. Leave it be.
JBChristian 47
Swans*
Imaginationn 6
Unless swans interfere in your life daily (which I doubt they do) I wouldnt bother trying to do anything like that again
Tonka2203 7
oh the visual!!
Smellykish 6
Bread can kill aquatic birds. Please do not ever feed them bread. Try fruit, vegetables, grains or seeds. Bread develops a bacteria that can kill them, in addition to many other health problems.
shellzy 20
Evil Angel is afraid of swans? How dark.
pazuzus_intern 10
OP I wouldn't bother trying to get over that fear. Despite their beautiful appearance, they are actually very territorial and vicious birds! I've heard that they killed a man last year (might have been more than one person that's the just the only incident I've heard of) and are very likely to attack people. It's perfectly logical to be afraid of something that can cause you harm.
dynamite9988 16
I have to all kind of birds
mutinykitty 18
ydi for feeding bread to birds. try something they can actually digest next time :/