Today, I had to awkwardly explain in a conference with HR, management, and my coworkers that the occasional bruises, cuts, welts, and choke marks are from consensual BDSM sex and NOT domestic violence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to yet another HR manager that no, my bruises, scratches, and scars do not mean I’m lying about being in an abusive marriage, it just means I’m a Muay Thai fighter who owns a cat who is a moody, scratchy little bastard. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mom that the bruises I have all over my body are not due to abuse, but because I'm into really rough sex. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
Today, after my husband whipped my ass with a belt the night before (consensual S&M sex, not abuse), I had to go to work and sit on a hard metal chair for eight hours. FML
Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML
Today, my husband, during casual family chat, told my CHILDREN all about my childhood sexual abuse as I stared at him in disbelief. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. FML
Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
At least they showed concern for you. My co-workers would tell me to walk off a double leg amputation.
joeyl1990 28
I don't understand why you had to explain that it was do to BDSM. Couldn't you just have assured them it isn't abuse but it is personal? Or lie and say you've been taking an MMA training program?
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Comments (31)
BurnInDemonFire 39
At least they showed concern for you. My co-workers would tell me to walk off a double leg amputation.
joeyl1990 28
I don't understand why you had to explain that it was do to BDSM. Couldn't you just have assured them it isn't abuse but it is personal? Or lie and say you've been taking an MMA training program?
interesting33 37
I don't know how believable that would be, especially depending on the type of marks and cuts they were
joeyl1990 28
If they were able to think the marks were from abuse I dont see why they would think the Mark's were inconsistent with MMA training
obie1975 9
My anesthesiologist called social services after a surgery in Dec because he wouldn't accept my explanation that the scars and marks are from Bdsm. He said I was just covering for him.
TCRII 30
Be careful with the choking. It can cause internal bruising that can be very dangerous even days later.
RichardPencil 32
It IS domestic violence! It’s just domestic violence you like.
Lily_Rain77 25
You go gurl! Wish I was in a relationship like that and/or had such a caring employer
manb91uk 22
Don't be awkward about it... You could help pave the way to a sex positive workforce 👍
real life problems 26
Nothing awkward about it imo
Mungolikecandy 19
You should have said Fight Club... hang on we are not supposed to talk about that. Forget I mentioned it.
dcharold 11
I'd have invented a new hobby: kickboxing? jujitsu? wrestling? Or indeed just said it's not their business, because it's not.
b00ts3ct0r 15
The underwater basket weaving session got really intense.
chosha_fml 27
There is absolutely no reason management or your coworkers had to be at that meeting. HR should have asked you about it and simply informed them that the matter was resolved and not of further concern.
PenguinPal3017 19
Yeah, this was definitely a personal issue. Extremely inappropriate to have everyone there.