Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with a majestic swan by a lake. Just as I was about to take the pic, the swan suddenly got visibly bored of my shit and chased me into the water. I emerged from the lake looking like a soggy, defeated swamp beast. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML
Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dweeds508 24
At least you tried to overcome your fear. Don't listen to the people who laughed at you.
DocBastard 40
Swans have long necks, so they're very easy to strangle. They're also delicious when served over pasta.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
Gangsterrface 10
It was trying to give you a "thank you" hug
tourdeforce 6
My girl friend is scared about almost any fluffy animals. And she said she'll never try to over come it, and the only thing she needs to do is to keep away from them...
Azellia 15
Bread is not good for wildlife. Just for future reference.
cash92 4
Stay the **** away from swans dumbass
arugh_fml 5
You should teach your kid from young like at the age of one to swim. Not swim but at least float and tread water I'm a professional swimmer and also used to life guard trust me its a good thing for them to learn also don't give them life jackets or they'll always want to depend on it.
Yusomadbro_fml 4
I would chocked the motherf**ker swan
Shade98 6
It's ok to be afraid of swans. I'm terrified of geese. They might not have fangs, but they sure do bite!
sanecatlady 13
Swans are actually bad-tempered and aggressive and when they smack someone with their wings it's like being hit with a baseball bat. They can even kill people. Beautiful on the outside, ugly on the inside, just like humans.
Garnetshaddow 30
That sucks... Big birds are actually pretty mean. I hope you're ok!