Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with a majestic swan by a lake. Just as I was about to take the pic, the swan suddenly got visibly bored of my shit and chased me into the water. I emerged from the lake looking like a soggy, defeated swamp beast. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML
Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML
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Top comments
dweeds508 24
At least you tried to overcome your fear. Don't listen to the people who laughed at you.
DocBastard 40
Swans have long necks, so they're very easy to strangle. They're also delicious when served over pasta.
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Comments (89)
SWC_Penguin 17
WHY did you need to get over that? What's next? Getting over your fear of playing in traffic? Your fear of drinking bleach? Your fear of stabbing yourself? You are scared of Swans because THEY ARE AWFUL. That doesn't need to be fixed.
NotoriousLES 14
Have to agree, a little fear of swans is natural. All swans are bitey little bastards!
martin8337 36
Anything that has a mouth can bite.
ScarletBloom 14
You looked like bacon.
janiiine 5
Swans like bacon?!
Axipiter 24
Everyone likes bacon. Even pigs like bacon.
FMLkoala 28
Murder all pigs for their bacon them force breed them and kill the kiddy pigs and then force breed etc
CaptFuzzyNippl_2 16
Swans and geese are just over all vicious ....Its happened to me before to.
DjeePee 25
Maybe they became mad because you were trying to kill them slowly with your bread.
dodgerXyz 11
I hope you didn't go into the water.
More_Leg 14
Swans are the meanest creatures, I wouldn't worry about a fear of them. That's a healthy fear. It's better to have all your appendages and be afraid of swans...
WompWompWomp123 7
It swan thing to be afraid of them, but to get chased around...
SamCat 21
when i was little, my grandma used to take us pass this house with swans. They would stick their necks out and peck us in the head every time. grams thought it was the funniest thing :-( it's okay to be afraid Op.
rt156 16
The animal kingdom will soon be taking over FML
Cheeselover97 6
You do realize humans are animals, right,
AshaaFerreira 22
Maybe they just wanted meat to make a sandwich?