Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML
Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
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Top comments
mwdelo 0
Legs were burning? Maybe you should try eating less hamburgers....
deplorableworld 0
The bird had already taken a bite of it and yet you still ran with it? Were you planning on eating it still? YDI if so...
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Comments (134)
AlyshaDeShae 10
Haha, reminds me of the gulls near the New Orleans Aquarium. They're vicious!
LocsOn 13
a bunch of crows are called a "murder" so if they were crows atleast you could tell people a murderer was after you then it'll be a better story
mwdelo 0
Legs were burning? Maybe you should try eating less hamburgers....
barlessprison 16
That happened to me once but the birds were after my sushi, not my burger. And instead of having the entire office building laughing at me, I had the entire park laughing at me. F Our Lives
Dr_Quackerr 0
hahaha pigeons are evil creatures.
ilikerainbows 0
Seriously, maybe the pigeons were just trying to get you to exercise fatty. Vegetarian win!
KenMcGormick 0
**** your Life... But who will not laugh at such a funny situation huh?... cant blame the office workers
Ricochet_fml 0
Damn it #2 you beat me to it.
StreetSinger 4
Hahahaha I would've been laughing with them, only because this is the kind of thing that would happen to me.
deplorableworld 0
The bird had already taken a bite of it and yet you still ran with it? Were you planning on eating it still? YDI if so...
thatminxmyrna 0
And this is why I am terrified of birds.