Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with a majestic swan by a lake. Just as I was about to take the pic, the swan suddenly got visibly bored of my shit and chased me into the water. I emerged from the lake looking like a soggy, defeated swamp beast. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML
Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML
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Top comments
dweeds508 24
At least you tried to overcome your fear. Don't listen to the people who laughed at you.
DocBastard 40
Swans have long necks, so they're very easy to strangle. They're also delicious when served over pasta.
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Comments (89)
heliophobia 13
They are actually pretty aggresive birds, don't feel embarrased about it
worldclassrager 41
I think anyone would have ran...those swans can take a hand off.....in saying that I might have made your fear worse..,
Canuk 14
No they can't take off ur hands!! They can break bones like ur arm and hit you so hard you'll feel like you have been punched. But they can't cut ur hands off
janiiine 5
Not very nice of your friends to laugh!
jw90 18
Well did it help?
nbandofbrothers 10
Swans are actually mean. They have been known to try to drown people.
breakinlegs 19
you live in Australia where the deadliest animals in the world live and you are scared of a swan......
More_Leg 14
Let's watch you go take on a swan then. They said SLIGHT fear of swans. Have you ever tangled with one of those suckers? They won't hesitate to hurt you, the bite, scratch, and there has even been cases where they drowned people.
breakinlegs 19
I spend a lot of time in nature. I respect animals for their majestic beauty, so when people try to feed wild animals that's what they get. but, if a swan try to fight me I'd certainly win and I wouldn't be scared. I'd win against you too...but the swan would put up more of a fight!
who10nanny 8
Geese are some scary motherfuckers too. I try to avoid all birds.
denizm 2
You live in australia and swans are what you are afraid of?!
Rosstapher 12
I'm not a fan of swans, it's actually illegal to kill swans in the UK... The Queen 'owns' them.
Raum 19
You shouldn't kill them anyway, regardless of who "owns" them.
starile 20
Starting by feeding the Ducks wouldn't have kept some Swan from chasing her