Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML
Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, I decided it was the perfect day to make Penne alla Vodka. It was also the perfect day to set my kitchen on fire. FML
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Top comments
mthammer 4
Wow! I can understand the fire department but ambulance too??? What did you do?!?
Damn_Hippster 11
How could you forget the fire department and a ambulance? Those are key ingredients to French fries
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Comments (80)
mthammer 4
Wow! I can understand the fire department but ambulance too??? What did you do?!?
Damn_Hippster 11
How could you forget the fire department and a ambulance? Those are key ingredients to French fries
cudi504 4
I really want french fries right now
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
I must be making French fries the wrong way. I usually just use potatoes, salt and oil. That's probably why they always turn out so shitty.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
OP probably started an oil fire and tried to put it out with water.
Neorecon19 18
To make decent French Fries without razing your neighborhood, boil the sliced potatoes in oil for about 45-60 minutes THEN salt them. And for the love of tater tots, buy a fire extinguisher. You're gonna want one if your that much of a fire hazard.
exleonhart 0
He made french fries. :(
X_Codes 11
54 - either you're an idiot or you're trolling. In either case, if you cook home-made french fries for more than 10 minutes total, you're doing it wrong.
EvilPotato 15
74 shut up now and I'll let you live, also I think this FML is an insult to me.
dre_bro11 12
89, did you need the ambulance and fire department too, or did you make them wrong?
Denikk 0
Home made french fries? wow... is it that hard?
Ionodemon1995 0
102- no. It's easy but he accidentally had the recapy book open to French Fires instead..
jessie12198 0
lmfao
ShyAnn29 15
I've heard if you have an oil fire, you can use baking soda to put it out, or smother it
MarkTheMintMan 21
Probably exactly what happened.
Annies 20
Because the fire department showed up it can be assumed that op also needed an ambulance because they got severely burned. Most likely anyway.
teacher25 3
Maybe next time you should look up how to online.
TXjuggalo972 6
Or get oven frys xD
TXjuggalo972 6
I hate this app -.- it tries so hard to not let me edit so *fries*
teacher25 3
Hm, I do not think that I would trust OP with oven fries either.
NDiesal10 2
You would **** up a wet dream lol
leader0011 5
Wait, what?
Blueglasscup 18
Am I the only one who didn't like the way this was phrased? Also YDI.
bizarre_ftw 22
It was phrased well enough, so what if it's not perfect? It's still funny! Calmeth thine **** (curtesy of a friend of mine)
bizarre_ftw 22
Okay this shitty app wouldn't let me add the last part, which was: < curtesy of a friend of mine)
Epic_Fail911 15
agree! " make home made french fries " is very confusing
TheRealHouse 7
Today, I concluded that I should proceed in preparing some French fried potatoes. I reasoned that all this would require is potatoes and sodium chloride. Unbeknownst to me however, it also entailed emergency medical and fire vehicles and personel. FML Better?
sloaan 0
No, almost worse, actually.
FUUUandyourmom 16
#32, you are my new best friend.
rognycbro 4
the reason as to why the ambulance was needed is left for the reader to imply. an educated guess is that while slicing the potatoes into fries; the OP severely cut, or even severed a finger.
edgestr 2
Or got burnt on the hot oil.
bizarre_ftw 22
Or, as anyone that's accidentally started a small frying pan fire or been in a school drill would know, ambulances come automatically with the fire department. That is Definitely the more likely reason, If we're being serious, not sure why we would be on this site however *shrugs* meh
Jaded_anna420 11
You are my favorite person #32 best FML ever
Commander223 9
I love the wording x)
Commander223 9
XD
bizarre_ftw 22
Of course they do! How on earth are you making French fries? -_^
yamatelle 19
7-No, they require des sapeurs pompiers and the Croix Rouge Française.
bizarre_ftw 22
Mine, #18, went to #7
Commander223 9
They do require a proper amount of monkey cum.
bizarre_ftw 22
#7 You sir, are a colossal troll! On the up side, congratulations! On the down side, I've sent someone to your home to defenestrate you. They should be there shortly. Have a nice day :)
KMtheDrummer 6
.
KMtheDrummer 6
.sorry, keeps screwing up.
NagatoPain 4
Today, I got thumbed down on FML because I didnt get what Fire Department and the Ambulance was for to make french fries. Im a sore loser that I still dont get what happened. FML
loveanthony645 5
You will if you get any dumber...
ohSNAPyall 27
26 your comment annoys me, but I gave it a thumbs up for your surprise use of "defenestrate."
SwaggerMelon 6
French Fries do not require the fire department and an ambulance.
bizarre_ftw 22
of course they do, how have you been making them all this time?
Daralea 21
You're making it wrong!!
Annies 20
They do if you are an extremely unlucky individual like OP.
DontModMeDammit 10
Don't forget ketchup, people always remember the ambulance and fire department, but they always forget the ketchup.
Soreeyeah 17
Love that pic lmfao
perdix 31
Are you some kind of cannibal, and make these French fries out of real French firemen and paramedics?
SirWrangler 5
A Smurf lit you on fire. End of story.
barlessprison 16
Uh of course you needed the fire department and an ambulance. Firemen and paramedics are awesome fry cooks.