Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
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Top comments
ojosRojos 28
“Now my entire family knows I’m a normal, healthy human being.”
medyas 11
Your mom vastly overreacted. People who don't fart in their sleep don't exist. (better out than in!)
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Comments (18)
AmbrosiaFan 19
so? everyone does. get over it.
SaintPanda 1
i have the same problem, the worst time was when my entire middle-school class had a sleep over in the school gym, i got reminded of it every day for 3 months, fml
im_teekay 7
Ummm, doesn't everyone fart in their sleep?
Ed Munson 14
Everybody does!