Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.
samadams42 0
They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.
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Comments (292)
hcovballer247 0
I'm sorry but I do not know one girl who would be impressed by a dude crushing a soda can with his forhead
jess6blondie9 3
Hahah! That's great!:D
CWEBB94 0
it was probably her!
nonymous1998 0
Wow.... Guys: If you want to impress a girl, don't try something like crush a soda can on your head or (at least in my opinion) lift a big weight above your head. Girls worth your time aren't gonna be impressed by that, they'll just be thinking "Wow, someone's trying to be an alpha male..." and (once again, this is my opinion based off of all my friends and classmates and what we look for in guys). If you really wanna impress a girl do something like stand up for her or compliment her! It won't impress her in a "That dude's got skills he can crush a soda can on his head" type of why but a "Wow, he's sweet!" which is so much better in the long wrong. Moral of the story: Personality trumps ninja-can-crushing skills.
mumbleandnappy 0
well said! :)
aardvarkish 17
Biting the head off a rat works pretty well too.
xstaticdelta 6
moron
emaryllis 0
In what universe would crushing a soda can with one's forehead be considered cool? Someone please tell me, so I can go there and feel vastly better about myself.
bindee2211 2
lol
alexavb15 4
If A Guy Did That iWould Think You A Big Douche ! Ha She Probably Drew It(:
lolwutguy 0
iWould? is that some kind of new invention by apple?
DeadOnArrivall 0
iwould sounds like a sex toy that OP needs
alexavb15 4
Yes 100 The New iPod Touch
Not_Ever_Telling 3
BRILLIANT way to attract women. Absolutely foolproof. Unless, of course, the chick you're after has an IQ over 30...or you just so happen to give yourself a concussion. Otherwise, completely foolproof plan, bruh.
JenaFails 0
The girl was probably the one who drew the penis on your forehead. :P