Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.
samadams42 0
They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.
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Comments (292)
epyk_pryncess 8
you wanna impress someone? open a beer bottle with your forearm. at least my step dad found it impressive... scratch that. how about throwing the can away? show her you care about the environment? or... just stop trying. go back to your xbox where someone may actually give a shit? (my opinion anyway:])
Turbo_Kramit 0
how do i impress you?
GrizzlyVance 0
are you ******* retarded?
Turbo_Kramit 0
hahaha "ooo like girl, must show feat of immense stupidity. must. smash. can!" lololol dumbass
MissBrainWash 0
Your an idiot
jess6blondie9 3
Hmm. Ironic.
adorkable_spazz 0
Wow... In what world does crushing something with your head impress a girl? Smh
qbkilla55 0
D.A. YDI
Curtis_KAOS 0
Sorry bro :/
omegaxen 0
I was gonna ask how you'd think that was gonna impress her but then I noticed op was from Missouri
younker123 2
And the award for biggest dumb a** goes to you. But I have to say, that is pretty amusing. Hah