Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.
samadams42 0
They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.
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Comments (292)
db_rainblow 0
I'm gonna try to say this in a way that OP would understand. YOU NO IMPRESS GIRL. YOU DUMBASS.
sgenfkshe 5
those damn people from missouri!;)
alx5804 4
the girl was impressed at the can for knocking you out.
marissabunge23 0
thats not impressive at all, ****** looser.
salsalover_12 5
Do i really have to repeat the ten commandments of fmylife.com? Everyone knows trying to impress someone results in an automatic YDI.
Cbsrover22 0
Your a dumbass. "Hey look! I can crush a Mountain Dew on my face and almost kill myself!" Nice job. YDI
RUSH777 0
Haha great movie.
trouble771 0
take it from a girl that's not impressive it moronic
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for being an idiot... Also, just for the record, it is easy to crush a can on your head. You crush it hard and fast on the larger portion of your skull right above your ears... Don't ask how I know.. Lol
fricknugget 3
that doesnt impress anyone..