Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fmobus 0
Today, I was laying there, resting at night, when a very sweaty firefighter jumped on me, without showering first. I'm a pool. Yuck. FML
d347hm4n 0
I'm assuming this is a male posting? #2 You seen the state of the economy, there is alot of folk who are still living with their parents!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
that_guy01 0
I agree #11, where i live a lot of guys still in high school or just out are in the volunteer fire department, mostly guys that stayed home and are going to the VoTech. And i'll also side with him on the pool thing, after football workouts or when i cut grass or washed cars (before i got a real job) i would always jump in the pool after, sometimes just to go take a shower after. The best time to jump in is when your dog tired and drenched in sweat. Of course i only did it during the day, and at least kept on shorts, the skinny dipping was definitely a bad idea.
balanceMMX 0
that grand slam comment was epic
mikaela33194 0
#20---If you would like contributing to what fml's get posted or not, go to the "Moderate FML" section and start voting yourself. This got posted because more people said "yes" to it than "no".
Tsukasa_fml 0
Today I was sitting in a tree hooting when this naked guy came out for a dip in the pool right in front of me. FML.
mikaela33194 0
#25 fail.
icedrake523 2
Ever hear of a shower? Dumbass
Calaura9 0
I don't blame you for not moving out despite what these people say. I won't move out until I buy a house or am 25 or get pregnant. Other side I'm going nowhere.
tjones19 0
#21 - Most likely it is a volunteer fire department, where you live your life until the pager goes off, then you run the call, and then return to your life.
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
Clothes are a good idea, or a shower works just as well.
thatsoundsnice 0
Um, ew. How about a shower instead?