Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
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Top comments
fmobus 0
Today, I was laying there, resting at night, when a very sweaty firefighter jumped on me, without showering first. I'm a pool. Yuck. FML
d347hm4n 0
I'm assuming this is a male posting? #2 You seen the state of the economy, there is alot of folk who are still living with their parents!
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Comments (55)
xxwilkywayxx 0
The OP can be 17 or 18. Many towns have a volunteer fire dept that you can join at 16.
imadonkeymoo 0
Wear a swimsuit
Dhamy 0
Ouch! Could he not tell it was you?
fmobus 0
Today, I was laying there, resting at night, when a very sweaty firefighter jumped on me, without showering first. I'm a pool. Yuck. FML
rukusrazor 0
Firefighter that still lives with his parents? Dude seriously?
takran 0
#15 you're trying too hard. #16: As was said, some volunteer companies can be joined as young as 16... try not being ignorant. That said, if he's older than like 25, I think he should probably be looking at moving on. OP: I hope your dad is half-blind or something. He didn't recognize you in bat-swinging range? Really?
KEVINPASH 0
Complete lie
mikaela33194 0
#7 #13 and #17 I'm thinking the real FML here is that with a flood light on the Dad saw he was hitting his son. Maybe despite the economy, the parents want their house back...time to move out OP.
FMLftl 0
/agree with #18; and not only that, but HOW did this one get "passed" by the FML Judges? This story sucks AND is badly-written. Sorry. "Today, I work for the local fire department"?!? C'mon, people.
deliciouskaek 1
I might be missing something here, so please pardon me if I am, but.. Your firehouse has a pool? Otherwise, why weren't you there? Did the call come in just at the end of your 'shift' or something, and you went home right after? If you'd returned to the firehouse like other firefighters do, couldn't you have showered there before going home? I'm not sure I buy this one.