Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML
Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML
Today, I spilled coffee on myself and now my brand new shirt is ruined, and I have to go to an important meeting immediately. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML
Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML
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Top comments
kren31 12
I love that you left out the reason why you slipped was because you were drunk. There’s no shame #straya
wanted_2_want 40
Gosh! That’s a crime. I mean wasting good chicken, AND gravy??
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Comments (16)
anayanci1 6
Boo hoo
a1f0sff 25
Your life doesn't suck that much unless this was your wedding dress.
Devyani Sharma 14
Umm who takes a gravy meal from a club? Such a made up story
wanted_2_want 40
Gosh! That’s a crime. I mean wasting good chicken, AND gravy??
BurnInDemonFire 39
Rule of thumb: Don't eat food that can leave stains while wearing white clothing. Rule of the other thumb: Watch where you're walking, or, if you were wearing heels, don't wear heels.
Inkoseh 33
This is some Trailer Park Boys shit right here.
kren31 12
I love that you left out the reason why you slipped was because you were drunk. There’s no shame #straya
Amanda Jaworski 23
Not necessarily, I personally go to clubs to surround myself with white noise, so I can peacefully finish reading my novels.
404wan 19
you went to the club, got drunk, ordered fries and drunkenly spilled them on yourself. if this is an fml for you you must have one beauty of a life. other people would just call this "going out"
Suzi_d16 27
Use vanish. Makes stains “vanish”. (I got rid of a full pint of Guinness stain from a white dress with it).
fde2blknimout 18
Thats a crappy clubs