Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML
Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
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Top comments
Cupcaken 0
if you're old enough to be married, I doubt anyone would think you a **** just for having sex.
geekemo92 0
You care what a cashier at Walmart thinks about you?
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Comments (371)
Zalyin 0
Wish you'd be able to read this but there's so many comments.. But yea, I'm a cashier, I wouldn't have thought anything like that. I mean, you're already possibly pregnant, what could be worse? D= Besides having loved ones die. I get jealous of some girls I guess, but that's no reason to be mean or whatever to them for being pretty. And big point! Don't you DARE care about what people think! There may be some cases where we "have" to cause of work or something, but.. otherwise... you really should learn to not care. And it's none of their business! I wish you didn't feel like you had to wear that ring earlier so that people wouldn't think bad about you. I'm sorry. I hope you're not pregnant if you don't wanna be! D= Actually, I hope you're not pregnant either way lol. Because I think that's bad for the kid and the world. Life's so ****** up.
gummy_explosion 0
Who cares, ***** are great!
portablecupid 3
Was the cashier a Catholic priest from the 1950s?
twobig4u 3
win!!!!!
MrBoombastic44 0
hahah been funny if you wore like a ring pop :D
elliedanceteam 0
ahaha ^^so tru
Sharpie_08 0
well don't worry... I still think you're a ****!!!
elliedanceteam 0
naww he wouldnt think ur a **** people there are mostly just for the money... its all true... thats the only reason my moms a doctor...
Sha41491 0
lol ****
doodlez223 1
OP, if you know without a doubt who the potential father is, then you are not a ****. My daughter was born out of wedlock, but I had been with her father for years. That doesn't make me a ****. It doesn't make you one either.
tnglator 4
u dirty *****
Cenobyte 10
Accidents happen, OP. Having sex outside of marriage doesn't automatically make you a ****.