Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML
Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
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Top comments
Cupcaken 0
if you're old enough to be married, I doubt anyone would think you a **** just for having sex.
geekemo92 0
You care what a cashier at Walmart thinks about you?
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Comments (371)
DyingBreed47 4
Why do you care what the cashier at walmart thinks?
youfukinfail 0
****
colorguardgeek 8
You could have just faked a phone call to your "sister" and let the cashier overhear you "telling" her that you are buying the pregnancy test now. XD
HeartAndSoul2011 0
thanks for the idea. I LITERALLY wouldn't have thought of something like that. this is NOT sarcasm, I promise.
FamiliarStranger 2
Honestly who the hell is that self conscious about what others think? ****.
ladyboesie 1
you actually can have kids when you're not married without being a ****,
speaktoleah 0
You Are a ****
missbadluk 0
Just because you are possibly pregnant while not married doesn't mean you're a ****. Those two have NOTHING to do with each other. I'm confused by this fml.
baby_love01 1
America is messed up when it comes to having sex. Just because you aren't married, does not mean you can't have sex. I agree with someone who commented stating that a signed piece of paper shouldn't matter because it doesn't. I don't believe in marriage. Don't try fixing something that isn't broken. Marriage will not make your relationship better. Anyway, why would it really matter what a cashier thought? Do they personally know you? Probably not. Do they actually give a crap that you are getting a pregnancy test? Probably not.
joyr 5
I am a cashier at Walmart and honestly wouldn't care why you are buying it. I've seen much more weird situation with those types of items that your doesn't even compare too.