Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML
Today, I came home early to find my (now ex) girlfriend having a screaming argument with my son, because he caught her trying to burn pictures of my late wife. I'm back to being single, but at least I can be proud of my son for standing up to her (he's usually very timid). Can't believe I was dating that psycho. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
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Top comments
DelugeandDrought 7
This would be the best time to start the paperwork and file for a restraining order. If she's willing to break into your house there's no telling how much damage she might end up doing. Good on you guys getting her out! I hope you guys stay safe.
nodeathtoall 19
Bitch be crazy
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Comments (48)
pratikp03 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
F*ck da police! F*ck da police!
HeavyWeaponsGuy 21
Yeah! **** the people who risk their lives to keep order and protect us!
EuphoricSadness 18
"SHEDINDUNUFFIN"
Haremjutsu 15
You must be one of those "Dindu nuffin" people I've heard so much about.
domolovesyoshi 33
You won't be saying that when you bloody need them, moron
rollingstone62 13
Number 1 looks like he's on a terrorist watchlist lol
nodeathtoall 19
Bitch be crazy
_Desiderata_ 9
Never underestimate the strength of a woman. (I'm a petite 5'2" woman but am one of the strongest in my kickboxing class.) Also, there's a reason we have the phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". Anyway, hope that your injuries heal fast and that you can laugh about this soon.
TheLadyOpal 30
Maybe I'm a Debbie Downer, but I don't think a psycho breaking into someone's house, causing a scene, and being violent when someone tries to remove her is something to ever be laughed about.
JustTheTruth42 13
I figured they meant more laughing when that bitch is in jail.
tounces7 28
It was most likely difficult because they dragged her out conscious. Next time Knock her the **** out for breaking in, like you would a male intruder. Equality.
captain_hero89 22
two words. restraining order
engineerosaurus 26
Something tells me if she's willing to break into his house, a restraining order won't deter her.
kayl_sco 14
It will definitely detain her though if she breaches the restraining order
InfiniteSunshine 32
Maybe not, but at least if she violates it she'll be arrested and go to jail. Although, she already broke into their house, and with the smashed shin, committed assault. She should already be arrested and in jail. However, the restraining order is good in case, or for when, she gets out.
xx000o 27
Two more words; meth strength.
stormy0307 16
Three words: get a gun.
Dale_shackleford 13
If you do get a gun, at least make sure it's locked up and not just hidden because she sounds like the kind of person to break in when no ones home and steal it.
DelugeandDrought 7
This would be the best time to start the paperwork and file for a restraining order. If she's willing to break into your house there's no telling how much damage she might end up doing. Good on you guys getting her out! I hope you guys stay safe.
Solano2580 24
#5 those papers don't do anything against people this crazy, they just break them anyway. If someone is enough of a stalker that they are willing to break the law this easily then a piece of paper stating that BY LAW that person has to stay away then the restraining order is useless.
VagueEel 13
yes but the point is if they break that restraining order then they can be arrested. Of course in this case she should already be detained for breaking and entering as well as assault, but it will still help for when she gets out.
DelugeandDrought 7
That's very true. The point in this case is not to deter her -although that would be a very happy solution- it is to show evidence you have made it very clear you do not want her around because she poses a threat to you and your family. Sometimes they're ignored, but for the most part they're a very good way to set up your defenses in the long term.
DravensTheName 16
People like this trip me out. She should move on and work on herself instead of acting this way. Hopefully the cops did something and recommended you get a restraining order. Best of luck with that kind of crazy
lexiieeex3 32
Yep, I'd say psycho is the word for it.
SilverSet 16
To be fair, if your dad laid a hand on her, she could very easily construe an assault charge.
MidnaLink 35
She'd probably have to prove actual physical harm, simply (let's say) grabbing her wrist to stop her hurting someone isn't enough.
stevenbro 6
Yeah, that would be a tough one in court, inasmuch that she is in your house and attacking you. Maybe a self defense claim would work.
renegadekid2002 14
I think it's time for your dad to invest in a gun. Remember a restraining order is just a piece of paper
rohithmathew21 7
Wait, is your dad gay?
GhostFox 34
Given the wording of the FML, no, OP's dad doesn't appear to be gay. Even if he was, this would still be a FML, because crazy exes breaking into houses is a bad day all around.
Lalala579121 28
"about how he's dating another woman now" Yep, it's pretty easy to confuse that with being gay.