Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML
Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Today, I realised just how skewed my reality is when I was pleasantly surprised that teenagers threw eggs at my windows. They usually throw rocks. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I guess if it could fly, that egg was mostly hatched! The visual of an egg with flapping wings made me laugh, so I thought I'd share.
hoghunter 1
oops. I couldn't find any pebbles so thought eggs would be a good substitute.
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Comments (166)
Pissed_Rose 0
This will help you get over him ^.^
MoJoThundRpants 0
El-Oh-El
JokeMeister 0
Ex Boyfriend, right?!
SeanFredrick 3
Leggo my eggo.
erockinthesuburb 17
maybe he was just trying to get you back in the dang kitchen where you belong to make some breakfast woman!
PrincessClairey 0
comments like these make me mad xD lol girls are way more successful than boys. we are more respectable, responsible, and just generally more knowledgeable..
CitrusGirl 0
alright while comments like 45s piss me off yours do too princess. you can't make generalizations about either gender. there are stupid men and stupid women. neither sex is better. thinking that women are better hurts feminist causes more than it helps because it makes men that much less likely to listen
CitrusGirl 0
45 pissed me off too but so do you princess. you can't make generalizations about either gender. there are stupid women and smart women and the same goes for men. Thinking that women are better only hurts the cause of feminism. it makes a man that much less likely to listen. The genders ate EQUAL!
CitrusGirl 0
WTF with it telling me it can't post than posting?
sallen0046 4
50 - Please stop trying to represent the female gender. You don't understand the rules of grammar or punctuation. You can't put faces and 'lol-speak' in the middle of a paragraph and expect to be taken seriously. You're just further discrediting the rest of us.
heartbrokenemo 0
I completely agree with 73. And I just want to say that I'm a guy and those jokes are getting pretty old, boring, and offensive.
polopony 0
When life gives you eggs, make a Denver omlet. But hold the onions. That's just gross
ThugNastys 0
awh, how romantic (:
bigbadtim 7
LOL This is eggxactly what I needed. It really cracked me up. Sounds like the boyfriend is a bit hardboiled. OP looks like the yolks on you, for ending up with egg on your face like that. I guess I'm a real yolkster. :)
Tishawna_fml 0
woow your a shit girl friend!! or he's a shit boy friend
ukiboy77 0
or maybe it wasn't him
kayC7 0
yeah, it could've been someone else. maybe that person just had the same car as your boyfriend
ralphgragasin 0
lol I was loling when I moderated this one :))