Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my wife reported our neighbor for leaving her son home alone while she works during the day. Her son is 13 years-old. I am so completely embarrassed and my wife keeps justifying what she did. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, I found out that my 43 year-old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year-old kid on Halo. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
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Top comments
mattzawesome 28
At least you're planning to admit to it, most would let the kid take the fall.
Shadowvoid 33
Well I mean the fact that she assumed it was the 11 year old baffles me. Put it in private MODE, no one likes to find **** they weren't supposed to see.
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Comments (110)
quarterbird 18
There's sooooooooo much wrong with this post. A. Why would she assume that it was an 11yr old and not you? B. Why not immediately tell her? C. What's there to "confess"? It was ****. Unless it was something sick, illegal shit... It shouldn't be in issue.
Xion0014 20
Again, why is it hard to admit to your wife you were watching ****?
gordjess1 19
Oh wow you're a good man for owning up to it. Horrible that she found out but I don't know the situation so I can't judge.
hoosiergirl94 31
And that's the day your son learned about ****..
crystal12895 1
don't tell anyone.
VikingLynne 18
Help me out here. Why would anyone have to get in trouble? It's just ****?
fonkimonki 7
Shame on you as a father for putting **** on a kids computer - watch **** as much as you want, but don't show it to kids
Fairyjoshy 13
How do people like you jump to such illogical conclusions?
interesting33 37
I don't know, it sounds like a family computer and like it is easily found - which isn't good if the child can access it
Saikon1357 25
This is why families shouldn't share computers.
bertie69 6
probably some of his too
404wan 19
What is wrong with women in America and not being able to take their husbands watching ****? Are they really that insecure? I mean... you married and impregnated her.
Bibliovore 26
We don't actually know yet how she felt about her husband watching ****, just how she felt (or felt she should react) when she thought her 11-year-old was watching ****. Of course, one person's reaction doesn't indicate how every female in an entire country might act, either.
PenguinsLaugh 24
#69, The problem comes when the husband starts to prefer jerking off to **** rather than having sex with his wife.