Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my wife reported our neighbor for leaving her son home alone while she works during the day. Her son is 13 years-old. I am so completely embarrassed and my wife keeps justifying what she did. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, I found out that my 43 year-old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year-old kid on Halo. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
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Top comments
mattzawesome 28
At least you're planning to admit to it, most would let the kid take the fall.
Shadowvoid 33
Well I mean the fact that she assumed it was the 11 year old baffles me. Put it in private MODE, no one likes to find **** they weren't supposed to see.
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Comments (110)
ThatHorse 15
I ask this from personal experience: Are you sure your wife isn't abusing your son? This situation happened to me when I was 12 and I ended up in the hospital because of it...
Bibliovore 26
#11, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
interesting33 37
That sounds awful. Would you be able to explain what you mean in terms of how OP's wife might be abusing the son, as I don't see the connection between abuse and the mother getting mad about **** in this fml?
FSGInsainity 15
Or you could blame the cat.
Migole 36
1. Why would she automatically asume it was rhe son? 2. Why doesn't/can't she know that you watch ****? 3. Why was she yelling instead of having a calm talk? I definitely wouldn't marry such a person
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Because **** is lusting after another woman, that is cheating. And cheating leads to divorce.
Fairyjoshy 13
...No, cheating is when you go out and have sexual and/or romantic affairs with someone who isn't your spouse without their consent. If merely lusting after someone is cheating, then everyone cheats on everyone.
leogachi 15
@17 I would also consider sexting other people or cyber sex cheating, but just **** is definitely not cheating.
tintarroja 31
**** is a visual aid to release the sexual libido...
JayGatsby 25
I believe cheating is when one person in a relationship has contact or a connection to someone in a sexual or emotional way. I can assure you that OP doesn't have either of those connections with the **** stars he watches.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Didn't say that was a good reason. That was the reason I was divorced. I also know other guys who's wives gave them the choice. Stop watching **** or they would leave. I didn't get that choice, just divorced for "cheating".
Nessco 36
That's really sad. Shouldn't you have known your ex-wife was that way before you married? I certainly knew about my husband watching ****. I certainly don't think it's cheating, especially the way we use it. Sorry you had to go through that.
xn3x 10
Good for you, #43. Your ex sounds like a total self righteous bitch. I wouldn't ever trust such person, she was either religious nutjob, plain nuts (being jealous because of ****, really?) or used that just as an excuse. In any case, congrats on not having her aroumd anymore.
NotMeMyfriends 9
l Like your Avatar.
NotMeMyfriends 9
She forgot how old he was 2. Nope. Has Self esteem issues. 3. Because She didn't consult him first!
Badkarma4u 17
Your wife is crazy 43.
ismedrage 17
If she gave him a choice to stop and he refused it is understandable , think of it this way. You walk into your wife watching a video of naked men as she masturbated , would you ask her to stop? It's not jealousy it's just if you love someone so much you married them you have the right to be annoyed when they are masturbating to other people/watching other people nude.
Fairyjoshy 13
Hopefully your wife apologizes to your son after this. And hopefully you apologize, too, for accidentally getting him in trouble over something that wasn't even his fault. But you sound responsible enough to do that anyways.
PulpFact 8
Why would your wife be yelling at your son for that anyway? It's natural to be curious at that age, plus, just come clean and take the flak
Mathalamus 25
11 is a little young to be curious about ****.
leogachi 15
@20 Some people start developing early. It's not unheard of for kids that young to be curious about ****.
GeorgiaBea 28
I had friends who were pregnant at 13... 11 is a great age to talk about sex.
sweetbliss3 37
yes talk about sex. that's completely different than **** watching at 11.
AndesFults 13
It disappoints me but my mom's friend has a granddaughter who was 10 and started sleeping around with 20 year olds and all of her friends do to it's sad how many kids do those things
turtle_darkness 17
That's something that needs to be brought up to the police, like yesterday.
smokecloud_ 37
I dunno, I found out about **** around age 9. I didn't really know anything about what I was feeling at the time, but in my teens I educated myself and didn't have sex until I was 17 so it isn't ALWAYS awful.
TayaLarkin 3
At that age it's not like they're watching just to get off, they're mainly looking because they're curious about anatomy and what sex is because no one will shut the hell up about it. They're more so studying it than using it.
tintarroja 31
You should be honest with your wife about watching ****. Maybe she can join you!!!
MySonshine7 13
I still don't understand this coming clean to your partner about watching **** like it's a bad thing. You are adults you can watch ****. Idk why people get upset about their partner watching ****. unless they would rather watch **** instead of having sex with their partner, then it's a bad thing. but good for you for not letting your son take the blame.
clawstrophobic 15
That's the reason tech companies invented the private mode
cloudyface 23
What's wrong with watching ****?
Bcjackson 8
Happened to me when i was 13, but dad didn't come clean and punished me in request of my mom! Fml but good dad op