Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
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Top comments
exileonmainst 16
All things considered, not that bad. Imagine if you had found him with your *****. Which, I think, is by far the strangest verse in John Lennon’s Imagine.
Dave_Davington 34
If only there were a popular descriptor for this kind of situation. Perhaps one that both describes the literal nature of the situation and the feelings it evokes in a single adjective. Maybe even one that was once popular on this very site, yet fell from grace due to overuse. Man, such a thing would make for a perfect commentary on this situation.
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Comments (19)
gobiteme2 34
A Pasco in the making
exileonmainst 16
All things considered, not that bad. Imagine if you had found him with your *****. Which, I think, is by far the strangest verse in John Lennon’s Imagine.
Lobby_Bee 18
I can see the host for Dirty Jobs in your child's future.
Dave_Davington 34
If only there were a popular descriptor for this kind of situation. Perhaps one that both describes the literal nature of the situation and the feelings it evokes in a single adjective. Maybe even one that was once popular on this very site, yet fell from grace due to overuse. Man, such a thing would make for a perfect commentary on this situation.
exileonmainst 16
Ahem.. What a shitty situation!
RichardPencil 32
RIP, exileonmainst, it’s been nice knowing you!
exileonmainst 16
I thought we were going to have a whole ”I’m Spartacus!” thing, where everyone would stand up for eachother..
RichardPencil 32
I’m sorry, but it’s more of a “1984” moment. Big Brother took me to Room 101 over the “shitty situation” meme.
exileonmainst 16
Ah, shall we have some victory gin then?
Suzi_d16 27
30 minutes? Takes me 10-15 to shower and dress. Ydi for taking so long.
almost_there44 26
Believe it or not, some people actually like to scrub their bodies in the shower. What might take you 30 minutes might take another person 15, so you deserve it for being too slow.
RichardPencil 32
When you found him, how was he positioned. I’m betting the fecal position?
pacman490 21
My brother did that once. It was really late so we thought about leaving the crap everywhere and cleaning it up in the morning.
HawkProf 4
30 minutes? YDI for taking so long. gotta get on the camp shower with a little one in the house.
nanxi 30
Lmao @ all the commenters saying YDI for committing the heinous crime of taking a 30min shower. Apparently, OP is not allowed to have an extra 15 minutes all to themself in the constant, around-the-clock care they have to provide for their kid, while said kid was SLEEPING. I’m not even a parent and I say ya’ll need to chill.
worldclassrager 41
Oh shit! Should I go?