Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
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Top comments
asoep 4
run, run far away
Trivision 10
Oh no, not another Paranormal Activity! This will be like, what? 27?
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Comments (190)
flashback_fml 14
Well since Steve isn't real, in actuality your son wants to kill you
KingReppin956 15
Or... "Steve" is a child ghost?
SkyBlueCloud 21
Oh my....... Run far away
kittykat2345 10
Get him checked for schizophrenia, any violent behavior to do with imaginary people or friends could be more serious than a child's imagination. Sit him down and talk to him about "Steve", ask him if Steve talks to him or tells him to do things to people/himself that he sometimes doesn't want to do or feels that they're wrong, or if Steve doesn't stop talking when your son wants him to or says no to him. Could just be a game, but you should be on the safe side and check. I suggest taking him to a doctor or psychologist.
LilMissHotHead 10
I hear that Amen
snugglesMcGee199 23
I like that you're suggesting that OP ask the child about Steve and the nature of him.
confusedAsFuck 34
Are you sure you have a 5-yo son?
6blueviolet6 6
I suggest you seek help before Steve wants to play with pointy things
anonymousdancerx 6
Sounds like an episode of Supernatural.
asylumlane 23
Ummm... it might be time to take him to a professional. It may be innocent but better safe than sorry.
domolovesyoshi 33
I think you need to have a little talk with your son.
funsizedbecka 9
That's a bit creepy!
rhevenge 19
sounds like time to take your son to a therapist. or find the spirit and get it taken care of. at this age it could be either