Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, a five year-old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
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Top comments
sammyjanette 17
I would tell his parents. It may cost you the job, but it is obvious that this kid needs psychological help.
5sonic 22
I'm scared for you op.
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Comments (77)
5sonic 22
I'm scared for you op.
Roskosity 22
Was his name Michael?
MrBrightside21 20
36 - Or Dale? "If you touch my drum set, I will stab you, in the neck, with a knife."
misunderstood94 15
Scary pants
SwaggCapone 11
I'd lock that kid in the closet and leave
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Well the best thing OP should do is just stand behind the kid smiling, with a big knife in hand, and wait till he finished counting and turned around... Scare the **** out of him >:-)
clever_name_here 7
I enjoy your evil side
pandamimo 5
Kids say the darnedest things!
RedPillSucks 33
No. Kids say the damnedest mother ******* **** sucking thing. Now give me some titty, mommy.
perdix 31
#2, if "darnedest" is a synonym for "homicidal."
ameyer13 8
you are so gross
jojimugo 20
Escalate much# 19
sux4u121 10
19, you really tried to force that joke way to hard, you took it too far and it wasn't funny either.
Allennis44 16
You sure as hell better not get spotted then.
sammyjanette 17
I would tell his parents. It may cost you the job, but it is obvious that this kid needs psychological help.
sabrinaacrow 26
It's defiantly not normal for a 4 year old to say that
SwordMeow 4
Kids say all sorts of things, mostly that they hear from other people or something like a movie.
eksyneet 23
nope, it isn't. kids say a lot of stuff and often don't even mean what they say. unless this little guy actually demonstrates deviant behavior, there's probably nothing to worry about,
eksyneet 23
#12, seriously? "defiantly"? why? pronunciation of the word "definitely" is clearly different...
lilhellian 27
This is a situation, were if the parents jist brush it off, I'd call someone like cps. He obviously heard/learned that from somewhere, I bet you the parents would blame tv instead of themselves.
B0nb0N09 12
Doubt they haven't noticed their kid is a serial killer
amDes 11
I would taken him by the ear and sit him down in time out and let him know he can't say things like that. I babysat a kid for 8 years and anything that starts quick can end quick with the right discipline. Never let them see fear in your eyes. They have to learn what is appropriate and what isn't for their age.
sarah_grace_baby 13
You cannot grab someone else's kid by the ear....that's wrong
amDes 11
If they are paying me to babysit then it also gives me the power to discipline when the kid is bad and to teach them how to grow up as a decent human. I'm not there to get yelled at, beat up, or verbally abused by a child. It takes a village to raise kids and letting them walk all over adults is not the way I would want my kids to be brought up. Sorry if you don't agree and let children threaten to stab you and just sit there and not teach them right from wrong, but I would never.
bamagrl410 31
Agreed. I wasn't allowed to disrespect ANY adults as a child, and I wouldn't let my child do so either. When you leave them in someone else's care, that person should be respected just as much. It's perfectly fine for a babysitter to teach a child proper behavior. Lack of discipline is why there are so many bratty & spoiled children these days.
JadeWinter 16
Actually, considering he's 4 and has no idea of the implications of his words it's not that shocking. It's creepy, but all you have to do is tell the child that it's wrong (because he doesn't know it's wrong yet) to say things like that to people.
baref00tmama 15
That's really disturbing dialogue from a 4-year-old even if he doesn't mean it! I would mention it to the parents; he could be watching inappropriate television or for all you know he IS in therapy. If my 4-year-old said something of that nature I would be HUGELY concerned.
GRgoldfish 19
I *beep* hate when people use the tired old excuse 'his just a kid and doesn't know any better!' *grunts* that may be true, but if you don't discipline or tell him that its wrong he will never know! if it was up to me I would firmly but delicately tell him that you never speak to an adult like that under any circumstances, and if he continues to do this, call his parents ask permission to spank him. but that's just me. good luck op
perdix 31
Let him find you easily on this turn and when you are "it," let him hide and don't look for him for three months. You get paid without getting cut.
lovesummers 8
Run...
flockz 20
and then what? what's the next step in the plan? remember now, you can't hide. that could end badly.
ironichalibut 24
Then running seems like they're beat bet. Just don't be around when this kid blossoms into a psychopath.
ironichalibut 24
Their* and best*
kianaaa32 17
I would definitely bring that up to his parents, no child should speak like that.
lilhellian 27
"It's the tv's fault."
rg350dx 29
It's the "violet video games" kids are playing nowadays. TV and video games are an easy scapegoat for poor parenting.
Moon_Dreamer22 12
theres a big difference between violets and violence one is a nice smelling flower and the other one is a form of depraved behavior people inflict on each other because their intelligence matches a two month old
SwordMeow 4
He is probably just kidding, kids say strange things.
RoseBlack123 37
Kids say the darnest things! Haha... ha... ha... except this one's scary... D:
michaelm1290 23
There's nothing like a little trash talk in a competitive match of hide-and-seek...