FunGhoost
San Francisco, United States
Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Freakout
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Hyde Park, United States
Rude awakening
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
mommydearest
Denmark
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
check your husband!
Asshat
Today, I’ve been getting increasingly more threatening calls and texts all day from the wife of the guy I was seeing. I had no idea she existed, and even sent her screenshots of the texts he'd sent me saying he was single. It didn’t deter this psychopath one bit. Now I’m scared to leave my house. FML
Jake
Albany, United States
Overbearing girlfriend
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
u wot?
Ipswich, United Kingdom
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Weird dude
Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML
DCarreon
Ceres, United States
Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML
alissa_roar
United States
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML
badwife
Japan
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Top comments
bethrh 49
Get out while you can
LizetteBerenice 22
You are.
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Comments (188)
1dvs_bstd 41
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Readers, commenters and characters random. Let's all try to make the 'F' in 'FML' also stand for fun. Enough with the flipping crappy, lame puns. Don't understand a joke, scroll on. The thumbs down button is not for all yall to hate on every little thing that you don't get or deviates from the stupid standard FML comment patterns. Quit urging people to break up with their bfs/gfs over everything with stupid ass, annoying comments like 'you mean your ex right?' Be original ffs.
Tarlachia 33
You mad, bro?
Arwen_Evenstar 37
I'm glad this comment was so fun to help that along. :)
FluffyPandas156 13
expecting you to see a lot of down votes. Haha But seriously I think we'll stick with FML as **** My Life. And tbh. the "you mean your ex" is overused a lot. But to see this I'm laughing.
Lostboy717 11
Finally someone gets it!
thatnewgirl 16
I completely agree with you (minus the change fml to fun my life instead of **** my life)
tbro47 23
Why so serious #1?
mrmcleod 29
Holy shit brodawg! You have -145 downvotes! Daaaaaaaaayyyyuuuuuuuum!
ErinPinelli 24
How about be quiet ffs.
bethrh 49
Get out while you can
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
some women are like that, if u cant date us then leave us... some men actually like that type of women though.
lolbash 18
Men are not your personal slaves
shay_serendipity 29
#114, are you sure? Because I'm not sure that anyone likes to date the type that are psychos... but maybe that's just me.
AkashaSC2 11
True #114 : they're called "masochistes"...
4WheelBurnout 14
You mam are ****** in the head
cristy91 33
If you're that insecure that you have to delete nearly all female contacts on your partner's phone without their permission then you need to reevaluate your own mentality. Definitely follow #2s advice, OP
brand125 17
114 - your also ******, then
PleasantDino 22
@114 do you have any idea of what a healthy relationship is?
aubamas 20
you got your own overly attached girlfriend
LizetteBerenice 22
You are.
lovelyvampire 16
Bitches me crazy
Greenteamextreme 16
#126 - Bitches all me crazy!
redneck_wolf 19
Run and don't look back
Arwen_Evenstar 37
I think that's a symptom of them being bat-crap crazy. In clinical terms.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Yeah. I think it's time to 'Delete' and 'Block' her.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
block then delete
SecretAgent_700 15
No, #116, I'm pretty sure it's 'Delete' and then 'Block' just like #8 said.
Compgeek1996 5
More like 'Delete' or 'Exterminate'. Save someone else the trouble of having to deal with her.
musoboy 22
In many cases, 'block' action includes an automatic 'delete' action.
Cortezthe1st 23
I thought the FML was going to end with "I live alone."
MisterE101 9
I felt the same way!
starile 20
This alternate ending gets my vote! ... I'm now a little creeped out.
matt721 8
You should probably talk to her about this. Because she is probably texting more boys than just you.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
not necessarily. .. some women just have insecurities and as a result control their man.
doctorhook86 25
#117: You say that like it makes that behaviour okay somehow.
devildog562 33
Her name is 1personismyworld. For some reason I don't think this means Jesus. I've read many of your comment ma'am and I'm truly concerned at your perception on what is healthy in relationships , or life in that matter. To each there own .
jentrynicole 20
Is your Mom still on there?
CamBam97 7
Sucks for you! gl with that