Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend went on a business trip, got drunk, and ended up sleeping together. Now they want to start dating. FML
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me... until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
No ****.
blackbird31 0
You may want to reconsider the "straight" part.
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Comments (146)
bigbadtim 7
Heteroflexible?
xbarbiexdollx20 5
Damn, OP...
something224 6
Aparently not
scrapmetal58 9
That's the worst advice ever.
scrapmetal58 9
That was supposed to be a reply to 16.
KVKdragon 26
this is kinda why I don't plan to drink in my life. I don't want to do something that I might later regret. and please don't say that I'm being prejudiced in any way. I didn't mention anything else and clearly the OP regrets his drunken actions since he says "the only problem is..." alcohol = stupidity poison ;)
aliaskis 3
meh. drinking is an expensive habit anyway. I drink occasionally, I think it's fine in moderation. But it sure is costly.
prodigy361 0
yeah drinking isn't bad if you control yourself, the problem most people have is they don't know when to stop.
gusgus36 5
49, unless you get completely wasted beyond belief, you're not going to be at the point where you don't know what you're doing and will have no recollection of it. I think most of the time when people blame bad things on drinking it's an excuse, not the reason. like slutty girls (or boys...such as the OP...lol) who are like oops, we hooked up...well it was cuz I drank too much! no, you're slutty anyway. the alcohol is just something to blame it on. but it's fine to not drink and I totally respect that. better to be safe than sorry
krez 20
I've been pretty damn drunk before, and I never had sex with anyone I wasn't already intending to (and never with another guy), nor have I killed anyone or went driving or any of the other stupid things people blame on drinking. Sure you might make an ass out of yourself, but it's not like your personality or morals vanish magically.
TheFamilyGuy 0
have ya ever seen broke back mountain? :D
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh snap. Jack Daniels hooked up with Jim Beam.
emodude44 0
So what? I'm straight and I'd love to **** a guy. It would be easier if we weren't friends though... unless he was my open minded kinky gay friend... I would only ever date a woman seriously though and in the event I ****** my best guy friend. I'd laugh it off, tell my friend the story that I just crashed at his place and slept on the floor.
riddickchristoph 0
Wanna ****?
T1A2Z3 35
You're not straight....
wifey93emilyrose 0
wow
Barrientos432 5
Dude, it's not a big deal. You like to **** guys. It's cool. I got friends who **** guys..in jail.