Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML
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Top comments
snowsock 0
Wait, you exposed your midriff because you are feeling confident and wanted to give them a little peek? What are you, Amish? Here's a tip, no one cares.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Ah, the embarrassing issues of growing up. D: She's probably 12 or 13, which is why the group groaned in horror and threw the blanket. XD
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Comments (128)
theycallmenell 0
YDI OP for being do desperate n have such low selfesteem that you have to. act like a *****. harsh but if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen lol I kill me
jaaxx_fml 0
she is a woman she is suppose to be in the kitchen (sorry ladies had to say it) wanna hear a joke?.....womens rights!!!!!
DareToDream7 0
Clever. Did you come up with that joke all by yourself or did you have a 3yr old help you out? I mean honestly, I have never heard that one before, never! Very clever, I am impressed. But I have a question for you, why do boys go to university/college? You don't need a degree to be an ass. I'm aware that joke is just as unoriginal as yours but the difference is that mine is true, yours is just a lame excuse that men use because they are realising that women are better than them in every way. Maybe you should learn to respect women, instead of putting them down. Have you ever wondered why you don't have a girlfriend? It's because most girls don't want someone in their lives who belittles them. Try being nice for a change, you might double your friends!
daniirae 0
163, it was a joke. get over yourself
TypeOneDiabetic 4
Would you get over yourself? It was a joke, a bad joke, but a joke. He was probably being sarcastic too, not bashing women, but you come along and bash and men and say women are better in every way. Women had it bad a long time ago with not voting and not having as many rights as men and all, but now all the equality stuff has just turned into a way for women to bash on men and say that they are better than us. I have heard a lot of women saying that "the world would be better without men" lately, and frankly I'm getting sick of it. I'm not saying that's what you are getting at, but I have decided to take my frustrations out in this post. So, if the world had no men in it, what do you think would happen? The human race would die out, because good luck having a baby without a way to get pregnant. All right, I'm done now.
twilightlover15 0
ok for one thing if you are like 13 or 14 it is normal to want to impress a older boy and i agree with #100.
HumansSuck 0
Gah, why is everyone so against fat chicks wearing bikinis? It's not that damn traumatizing. Grow up. (For the record, I'm not fat.) Also, to everyone who's telling the OP she's fat and ugly: Stop it. She's probably like 12 and not even fat. Her friend's brother's friend probably just don't like her cause she's twelve. Do you realize how girls get eating disorders? OP: Wtf?!
jonny2x4 0
I take it you are either fat and/or busted-looking. I'm surprised they didn't puke at first sight. YDI for slutting it up
twilightlover15 0
what is OP and YDI?????
jaaxx_fml 0
lol noob YDI = you deserved it
story_teller 0
Why does everyone automatically think the OP is fat? And why the hell are you all dissing on larger people? Are you aware they have feelings too? Are you also aware that it takes A LOT of work to lose weight? I am not fat, but I dont have a perfectly flat stomach either, and hell, im a runner. So to say a person is fat for not having a flat stomach, well that's basically untrue.
TypeOneDiabetic 4
I don't think anyone is saying that people are fat for not having a flat stomach (they could be though, I'm just not sure)
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, I'm inclined to go with #77 on this one. Officially, you're off-limits. UNofficially... if this is a physical insecurity issue... unless your friend's hot older bro hangs with a troupe of guys who's explicitly stated purpose is to apply their queer eye to his misguided sense of fashion... I wouldn't worry. More than likely they were moaning because their friend's hottie little sister had a sleepover with her nymphet friend and they stumbled into it. It's not that they don't *want* you, it's that officially they can't *have* you. If this is any type of physical insecurity thing, please... read almost any FML in the intimacy section when it comes to men and what they'll be attracted to/lust after. Again, officially you're more than likely just in the same no-go zone as the younger sibling. Don't take it personally. This is more about integrity and standing with their bro, than it is about not wanting to go to bed with his little sister or her friend. And I put 50 down now that you succeeded in your true objective, and were in fact the fantasy of the evening for guy and a few of his friends anyway. Reality: where coy fantasy is often hidden by, or then becomes- a disturbing truth/notion.
athos1237 4
YDI for thinking you're hot instead of actually being hot.
TypeOneDiabetic 4
And how do you know she isn't hot? Also, she deserves it for not being hot? Really? You know when women talk about how guys are pigs? You're the guy they talk about. Even I say you're a pig, and I'm a guy
DameGreyWulf 1
Surrounded by fatties. Yes, indeed, I'm surrounded by fatties because their stomachs aren't washboards. Man, you're sounding like one of those chicks from the cliche high school dramas lol
Paige_Nicole10 0
attention ***** much?