Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my marriage must be over. We just spent a week in Paris, the most romantic city in the world, and we never left our hotel room. Not because of constant sex but because my wife couldn’t be arsed to get dressed, be romantic or anything. She sat on her tablet watching Netflix IN FUCKING PARIS. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I flew home early from a two-month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with silk-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said, "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, after we got married five months ago, my wife and I planned a trip to France and Spain as a honeymoon. We’re supposed to be leaving on Saturday. She just told me last night, “I am so not looking forward to the trip.” FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML
Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML
Today, the girl I'm in love with invited me to stay with her in Europe for 2 weeks, she's even paying for the flights and accommodation. It's because I'm such a special friend to her, and she wants me to come up to meet her fiancé before she gets married. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML
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Top comments
drzhottie148 0
shit i'll leave her ass in Paris. Leave a note in the room.."try finding your way back bitch" Take all the money.
blue_dude 0
ouch, that sounds terrible, you should have flown home and left her there
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Comments (119)
Metal1209 0
Ouch... well have a good time in Paris!
andyn 0
Leave her there, job done.
KumoFF7 3
You win for having sex with your mom. you came out of her, you should be able to go back in.
spazzdoodle 0
We need a new acronym for all these cheating stories, like DTB for "dump that b****"
waterynuggets 0
Dan Savage says DTMFA (dump the ************ already)
genius_man16 1
#31 has the right idea Leave her with that asshole frenchman. That'll teach her to cheat on people. God what a bitch. I really, really, really hope you left her there. And if you're worried about wasting money on an extra ticket, just hook up with a french girl and bring her back to America. Problem solved ;)
mother_green7 0
OP, do you happen to be a french man? if so, congrates! no problemo! i hope you had a nice anniversary.
humorizer 14
lol wtf with the jihad? Just for reference's sake, as a muslim I must say this guy's misconstruing the concept of islam. that is all
Vorock 0
Ugh, I doubt that guy was French. French guys, are sexy, romantic and wild, BUT WILL NEVER do such acts. They have brains unlike the rest of the world and are actually nice and think about others.
callargh 0
Yes. More people need to be aware of this term. Oh, and DTMFA.
sucktobeyou 0
you should find a girlfriend in France not bring your girlfriend to France
effyoubitch 5
Wow 55 definitely not true. I'm pretty ******* independent. I have my own shit on top of being a single mother without even getting child support so go **** yourself.
54754N4 14
#84 I'm starting to think you never met any french..
blue_dude 0
ouch, that sounds terrible, you should have flown home and left her there
drzhottie148 0
shit i'll leave her ass in Paris. Leave a note in the room.."try finding your way back bitch" Take all the money.
lifeislife_fml 0
Great idea!
Jaywin 3
Yeah and then go find your own french hottie.
bigzic 2
And her passport
hi_derrrr 0
wait... you and her went, or just she went? sorry if i sound dumb, but it says "i flew my girlfriend out" which generally means only she went... which, in retrospect, is a bit dumb. lol.
itskaylala23 0
i agree, why would you send just her for your anniversary?
mikuxxhatsune 32
Money restrictions maybe...
HotSauce_fml 0
Sick Burn! You got one uped by a smelling Frenchmen. FYL
dydoe 0
Dump her body in the Seine
Einstein714 0
excuse me WTF! she's a *****. dump her and leave her there with no way home
AAAAHHHH12 2
Wellp, I'd say her stinky Frenchman could figure an arrangement out, no questions asked. :?
evangldbrg 0
(With french accent) Le huh huh huh Also, a good way to get back at her - leave her there when you go back home. If she likes France so much (apparently the guys there as well) she wouldn't mind staying.
sixtrey 0
i dont know whats wors the fact that your heartbroken that you girlfriend is a ***** or that she had sex with a frenchman
effyoubitch 5
or your comment.
albert26 0
2nd!!!!!!!!!!
crumblemumble 0
fail.