Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML
Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part? He was by himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
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Top comments
Mercedes16 7
At least he broke the record. Lol
iamabamf 17
Doesn't matter, had sex.
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Comments (218)
QuirkyCorgiLove 8
Awhhh I'm sorryy!!:(
gamercanadian 11
On the bright side he did break his last record.
chris36taylor 2
You can't rush perfection (:
thiscrazything 1
Sounds like he gets really excited way too easily.
kerrwoof 13
My boyfriend has that problem sometimes too.. After like a minute he has to really start to concentrate on something else. It's actually quite funny to watch. I feel your pain though so FYL. He's not even lasting the average 3-5 minutes for a male
AFCA020 4
Do it twice? .... 2nd time allways takes longer to come ;)
GoingCommando93 14
Average 3-5minutes? Wow then my average of 1hr+ is up there huh? I guess you could say I'm the Jordan of sex.
A7X2012 0
Or your just trying to impress all the ladys by lying and you've either hadn't had sex in a long time or your in the same boat with him
nofearjenshere 12
I've only had sex once in my life before and I thought it was horrible because he only lasted 5 minutes. I guess it's not as bad as I thought though.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Well considering you're 16, it was probably his first time too, and that's not terrible for a first timer. Better than some people on their 50th.
raney150 0
I read somewhere that apparently 75% of men last about 2 minutes or less in sex.
ninjawatcher 2
Tell him to flex his abs constantly and breath as regular as possible. Does wonders to your endurance.
Freddo5 0
amen
Mercedes16 7
At least he broke the record. Lol
SkoomaKi 28
Tell you're boyfriend to think about maths or physics while having sexytime - it should work.
LookOnBrightSide 12
Soon, OP's boyfriend will make a run for the Guinness World Record. Look out world, here he comes!
LMA0 5
26- You mean here he cums. Which he seems to do awful quickly.
skullcandifiedDJ 5
That might not be such a bad thing, cause some guys (like me) find it extremely difficult to climax during sex. Which by the way, really SUCKS
LMA0 5
42- You were born to be a **** star.
spekledworf 18
Hmm I was expecting someone to say "shut up OP atleast he has a penis"
hawaiianfire 0
Nah 43, male **** stars have to be able to cum on command.
Jiplo 18
Hey, if you don't believe in yourself, you're likely to give up, so make sure he believes in himself and maybe he'll get better!
igloo617 1
my ex was a 2 pump chump !! feel very special lol
Dajucy1 7
What?
ladyLALAA 29
In, out. In, out. Done. This is my interpretation. :)
mybright 8
Don't feel bad OP, I used to date a guy that would BRAG that all he'd give was '2 pumps and a bear down'...
myrrhdyrrh 3
At least he's improving right?
PostItSticker 11
You can tell he has great stamina.
iamabamf 17
Doesn't matter, had sex.
onlychildFTW 34
Exactly! He had sex for 2 mins, he broke the record, he came. What's not good about that? He must be a try hard to finish that fast.
nofearjenshere 12
Best 2 minutes of my life!
im_somebunny 0
It's the thought that counts.
Jamesdean1956 0
What a waste
LMA0 5
Waste of what? It certainly wasn't a waste of time because it was still good for the few minutes they had sex, so the only thing it could be a waste of is cum... Did you have something you'd rather do with his ****? Eh..?
KiddNYC1O 22
"Gail swallows"! (Mic feedback)
ArabFML 3
One of the best comedies out there!
LonggUsernameee 0
Tell him I said congratz~
Yousuck24 21
At least he's improving...