Today, I woke up in an empty room. Thinking I'd been kidnapped, I kicked the door in. The previous night was a blur, and thought I'd been drugged. I was actually in the room my friends had put me in last night, because I went on a drunken rampage. It cost me $100 for a new door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML
Today, I was at a party and went to the bathroom. The door was tricky to lock, but in my inebriated state I thought I'd managed it. Apparently, I hadn’t. Midway through my business, the door swung open, and in walked a group of people looking for their coats. We just stared at each other in shock until someone finally closed the door. FML
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Top comments
Mungolikecandy 19
It may be time to take that as a wake-up call. If you went on a drunken rampage you have some issues which need to be addressed.
slkeithh 14
Kidnapped? who actually comes to that as a first assumption. Your problem solving skills are non existent. Also, seek help for your abundant drinking problem.
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Comments (9)
ojosRojos 28
Your username about sums it up.
Mungolikecandy 19
It may be time to take that as a wake-up call. If you went on a drunken rampage you have some issues which need to be addressed.
slkeithh 14
Kidnapped? who actually comes to that as a first assumption. Your problem solving skills are non existent. Also, seek help for your abundant drinking problem.
Iamthebanzai22 21
So, basically, drunk or sober, you always break stuff ?
alycion 39
Maybe it was just one of those days
kfchicken 31
why wouldn't you check your phone, or try to open then door normally first at least?
Rachel Holland 8
SmH
PenguinPal3017 19
Now that's what I call a kicky situation!