Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML
Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML
Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to recommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking. I got food poisoning from my own workplace. FML
Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
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Top comments
DoingItWrong 0
Aww ... you didn't even make it to the ritualized hazing later in the day =(
Peroxide 3
That's the least of your troubles. Fortunately your firefighter training will come in handy later when you shit fire.
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Comments (43)
Turnip_Girl 0
Did the food at least taste good? On the way down, I mean. >_>
Ajjas013 6
Maybe it would be better if you had cookie duties. This is in all the movies man, the guy goes to lunch with his girlfriend, to Indian, he can't handle Indian but doesn't say anything. Later on he spends the rest of his date in the bathroom.
JohnE3 0
cookie duties?
popoman 0
Cookie duties means that he eats a lot of food (usually spicy), takes a HUGE dump with a whole bunch of flecks in it (like chocolate chip cookie dough), puts the pieces of shit on a baking tray in small individual pieces, and bakes it at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 minutes. Then he eats it.
Ajjas013 6
Ahh dude you're killing me. You should be a comedian.
obnum 19
You have ruined eating chocolate chip cookies for me. Now I'll always think of poop >.<
DoingItWrong 0
Aww ... you didn't even make it to the ritualized hazing later in the day =(
lexxiii 17
Third!
mysuckishlife 0
YDI for yodeling...
xxcrazybestiexx 0
Omg! One word: ew! That's horrible! FYL
Mx_Rider 6
dudeee that sucks im a prob firefighter i know how u feel
Peroxide 3
That's the least of your troubles. Fortunately your firefighter training will come in handy later when you shit fire.
Sappheyes 0
Sorry but YDI for putting yourself in that position. As a firefighter, you need to keep yourself in condition to be ready to go fight a fire! Your job can't force you to eat foods that you're allergic to or make you sick, plenty of people are put into a state of pain from spicy foods. Ulcers, acid reflex, etc. Lesson learned.
UberNova 18
He never said he was forced to, it was his first day on the job and he didn't want to ruin it so he "sucked it up".
jessxoxo28 5
i love spicy food! cant live with out it! but it sucks for u.... and ur Lieutenant... lmao!
jessxoxo28 5
btw- sorry if my comment comes up twice, my comp.s messed up!