Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
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Top comments
yankfan89 27
Must have been one hell of a dream to be sleep humping.
SkoomaKi 28
Were you drooling too?
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Comments (117)
jaredofmo 22
If your family can't deal with you having a sex life, they got problems.
Michael_92 20
Umm I think you might need to have a look at the fml again...
xNephilim 19
Grandmas usually have a problem with their grandchildren having a sex life. Hell, my grandma freaks out when I have my gay best friend over and we watch a movie while laying in my bed, on top of the blankets, about five inches apart, door open, and lights on. Yeah, most grandmas and sex life? No.
jaredofmo 22
Hey, this is my first buried comment! If you're dreaming it, you must be doing it. But yeah.
GothicAngel17 24
No actually, if you're dreaming it you're most likely not doing it, have never done it, or aren't doing it enough. I've read that sometimes its actually to make up for the lack of "action" the dreamer might be getting. Haven't you ever noticed that we tend to dream of the things that we desire, yet can't or don't have?
jaredofmo 22
True... I was wrong. Now continue to thumb down my comment so fewer people will see how wrong I was.
auzz1_pride 9
I have a pretty solid memory and I gotta say I've seen your comments buried before :)
jaredofmo 22
Oh? Eh, whatever. Can't get too worked up over comments on a website.
Michael_92 20
Ahh don't make a big deal, everyone has stupid comments every now and then. I would have to agree with gothicangel; dreams are usually of something you want to happen. If they are not then you dream about it. Usually anyways.
tony1891 22
was it a wet dream as well?
IndianGiver 8
No, silly! It was obviously a dream where her boyfriend was an alien probing her. Or maybe he was a zombie eating her, if you know what i mean! ;) But clearly both of those sound like a nerds wet dream. Therefore, yes it was.
racinghart09 4
Tell them you were being abducted in your dream. >.>
PrimalHunk 5
Finish like a boss?
ymcmbbaby 0
I'm still waiting to read the "doesn't matter, had sex'" comment.
bubbalou21 0
win. pure win.
perdix 31
Good thing you woke up before the post-coital nose-picking. That would have been awkward! Maybe Grandma will knuckle down and learn to use Facebook so she doesn't have to deal with your perverted family in person.
swow 5
Yikes !
LittleDevil01 4
what happens in dreams,should stay in dreams. o.O
nitexshadow 1
I agree :)
bunniex1 11
Unless it's a dream that your flying. Then that would be awesome. Unless it was because you were on a plane. Or afraid of heights. I forgot my point. Nvm. Laaaaaaa
bizarre_ftw 22
Say you were dreaming you were Michael Jackson preforming live
kelissa_fml 16
This comment made my day! They'd totally believe her!!