Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_Skies 0
Thinking about them Twinkies again eh?
swirlsofhoney 0
hey vending machine food is good just not that good...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (227)
dabum 0
wait r u a girl????
myotherlips 0
If you're a female, many men would dream they could switch bodies with you. lol.
monkey314159 0
I've had 10x more dreams about food than naked chicks. It makes me soooo sad.
mandyreid_ 0
your life is awesome, i wish i had wet dreams about food!
DoctorManhattan 0
If it makes you feel any better, the first sex dream I remember ever having was about a dance party with giant vegetables, and I was dancing with an enormous carrot. Not like an anthropomorphic carrot or anything -- it was a giant carrot. I don't even think it had legs.
rachhXO 0
the guy who commented above me is my hero .
egonzalez114 0
OMG!!! OMG!!! OOOOMMMMGGGGG i peed a little
IAmBridgette 0
Apparently you spend more time with food than the opposite sex. I'd go to a bar after that dude.
julesdance 0
are you sexually frustrated?
Voddy 0
don't worry, these things happen, it doesn't mean you're really turned on by vending machines or their food. sometimes two things happen at once and they don't necessarily have a connection.