Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML
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Top comments
_Skies 0
Thinking about them Twinkies again eh?
swirlsofhoney 0
hey vending machine food is good just not that good...
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Comments (227)
dyld921 2
I think you have a food fetish. Start smearing food on yourself (or try not to).
deee___jaaayyy 0
I believe this is a girl, a guy wouldnt say that they have been touching themselves with their hands between their legs.
pete275 0
hot
easylazy 0
DOES THIS REMIND ANYONE OF THAT SEINFELD WHEN GEORGE COMBINES HIS BIGGEST PLEASURES, SEX, TV, AND FOOD, AND HE GETS MESSED UP SO EVERY TIME HE EATS FOOD HE EATS FOOD HE NEEDS TO HAVE SEX???
c35ari0n 0
ok u r a pervert and ur live is ******
olivia35 0
Dear hdat, I'd tap hdat. Love, Olivia 35
VroomVroomVroom 0
Haha.
cactus_fml 0
That's hilarious.
reddilocks 0
ugh gross...there are some pretty weird fetishes out there, but I've never heard of anyone being turned on by that
AnnieLennox1954 0
Best dream ever! :D