Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML
Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML
Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML
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Top comments
buddy51 23
Still a better love story than Twilight!
Wizardo 34
"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to diss a Brie? I Cheddar the world and the Feta cheese. Everybody's looking for Stilton".
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Comments (90)
ozpunker 20
Did you wake up to cheese? If not, what's the problem?
buddy51 23
Still a better love story than Twilight!
Bano360 25
Most overused sentence on the Internet right now. However it is so true.
triplebeerox 27
Whatever floats your boat!
jojimugo 20
Or melts your cheese
gotaplanstan 28
Or floats your melting boat that's made of cheese
Googolman 29
I wouldn't want to be on that boat.
nephilim241 19
Dat cheese.
Miss_Klutzie 28
Hey, whatever works for ya ;D
FMLbutYDI 17
That stuff is the bomb.
Pwn17 25
I'd like to think we all have a thing for velveeta.
Wowxoxo 17
Nope, I prefer real cheese... Maybe some Camembert or comté
jw90 18
I can't say I blame you. Velveeta cheese is..yea it's just nice..
Vitualamen 11
Everybody loves cheese.
Chellybelly92 14
But it's so warm and thick and GOOD!!! No? Still weird? Intense dreams about food are awesome. Food almost ties with sex almost all the time lol.
xplicitkontent 18
Food/eating and sex cause the release of oxytocin.
_DudeGuy_ 16
You're both right in a way. Dopamine is released when eating and having sex, or pretty much anything you have to do to survive. Oxytocin is also released when having sex.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Oxytocin is a bonding hormone... Pretty sure it isn't released when eating. Unless you bond with your food? Oh. Cucumbers right? :p