Anonymous
New Zealand
Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Fail
Steele, United States
Not a night owl
Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML
something
Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML
makeyourselfathome
Richmond, Australia
Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
vinniesuckmadack
United States
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
rhplb
Quezon City, Philippines
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Anonymous
Stoney Creek, Canada
Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML
anonymous
Canada
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
blackvogue
Canada
Classic
Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML
Anonymous
Eugene, United States
Sorry guys, please don't hurt me
Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML
Top comments
ceinaworus 0
so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.
j_cat187 20
with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.
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Comments (65)
fadedflyer16 0
this fml is lame af!!!
jfreekingly 3
what? you don't wear steel toed slippers ?
meggieh815 0
116. You just made my night. Hahah
Dominoes 0
same thing happened to me except he was playing soccer...
staceysgenesis16 0
mhmm .. agreed .. but id rather take his boots and hit him in the face repeatedly with them
THEgirlNEXTdoor0_fml 8
i guest ..... i realy dont get it ??!!?
hpdc 0
what do you not get? did you read the other comments?
angel889 0
today I went to make toast. when I went to get the bread out it burnt my finger, then I flung my hand out and it hit the cupboard. FML
joooeee 3
steel toe> camel toe
kriistalkhalifa 0
FYL, Damn
ashleybug08 0
I hate when that happens!
kriistalkhalifa 0
Lmao