Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as usual, I went to pick up my brother and sister from school in the rain. When we got to my truck, I realized I had locked us out. We had to walk home in the rain, only to find the spare house key had not been put back in its spot since the last time it was used. FML
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I finally got up early enough to get to work on time. I arrived 15 minutes early only to realize that I'd left my work laptop at home. Ended up being 30 minutes late. FML
Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML
Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML
Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
tranced_ 45
This is when you break into your own house and surprise the crap out of your brother when he gets back!
zedjaleaf1 11
You should've told everyone EXACTLY what your plan was, hope you get in safely.
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Comments (24)
zedjaleaf1 11
You should've told everyone EXACTLY what your plan was, hope you get in safely.
psychocunt 20
yikes.
tranced_ 45
This is when you break into your own house and surprise the crap out of your brother when he gets back!
Rozeyyy 25
I would still leave work at 5. You atleast get some free time to yourself
False_Stupidity 42
I think they did and THEN discovered after arriving home that his brother had his keys.
Rozeyyy 25
Oh sorry... I guess I misread the FML
zeffra13 31
No, you didn't. It doesn't say anywhere when OP discovered the missing keys. Could have easily been while at work still, since most people don't go the whole day without realizing something important is missing from their pocket.
False_Stupidity 42
I cant help thinking here that even if OP's brother had not taken his keys with him, OP would still be outside while the keys would be inside and we're left with the same situation. This would be a good time to consider keeping a spare key in a well hidden place outside for future emergencies of this nature.
tomatosz 23
The brother might have taken the keys out of OP's bag, so OP would assume the keys were in the bag (s)he was taking with him/her to work.
GhostFox 34
This sounds like the OP's brother moved the keys from where OP keeps them without asking permission or informing OP about the change. In fact, it sounds an awful lot like their brother lost his own keys, and thus took OP's keys instead of trying to find his own. My brother used to do it to me all the time, or he'd lock the deadbolt and take the only deadbolt key with him. I'd get a copy or three made and hide them in locations that you can remember but aren't obvious. They shouldn't be obvious because thieves look in a lot of places that people keep keys, so none under the door mat, under porch decorations, etc. I'd also ask your brother why he took your key, considering that it's... Well, YOUR key, not his. And make him do some chores for him having effectively locked you out.
Big_D_Real 12
Why aren't your house keys attached to your car keys? Assuming you are driving to work that is. If not, sorry OP. It's time to teach brother a lesson in why you don't touch other people's stuff.
Speedy1979 13
That sucks
Internetflakes 13
Well said.
manuwish 9
be spontaneous, when life offers you such a flagrant chance to change something about your trott, you do! go visit a friend, visit the local pub, walk around town or take some time to go sit in a park, relax, meditate, visit the library and get a book you always wanted to read! hey start living!! that's why stuff like that happens, the universe is trying to tell you something op!
Chazzster 32
I can't help wondering why OP didn't notice his keys were missing before leaving for work. Am I the only one in the world who never, ever leaves the house without my keys in my pocket? I don't even close the car door when I get out without knowing my keys are in my hand or pocket.