Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
Today, I thought I'd make my own coffee at home to save money. As I was grinding the beans, my flatmate's pet parrot decided to join the party and imitate the noise of the coffee grinder. For an hour. I ended up with a headache, a half-finished cup of coffee, and a parrot that now thinks it's a barista. FML
Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML
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Top comments
acerredrum 23
Tell him okay but when you move out you expect half the bird.
DrownedMyFish 18
Hopefully you toucan settle this situation without it getting anymore hawkward than it already is.
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Comments (110)
ravens42 8
Wow you're crazy
Aleyarie 11
My roommate does this all the time (without asking me OR our landlady, then expecting me to pay for food/care and take care of it when she leaves for weeks at a time for 'family visits'). First, it was fish. We had THIRTY fish at one point. Of course, she then got bored. So, she gave away the fish. Second she wanted (two) rats and she managed to get those through "I need them for my science class", kept them for about 4 months before getting bored, and gave them away as feeder rats. Then there were three geckos, a puppy, a pigeon (I don't understand this one), another puppy, and now she is stuck on having a red tailed boa. I have no idea what to do with her.
skyeyez9 25
Find another roommate!
sunshineb81 16
Get a new roommate or come to a pet agreement. It sounds like you went along with it if so YDI and need to just deal.
okami36 2
Kill your roommate.
DanielleinDC 34
Moving out (or kicking her out) might not be a bad idea.
veritoswty6 14
I wouldn't pay a cent if I were to be in that situation. If he/she wants a pet well that's his/her problem and his/her responsibility and not mine!
Omniprism 15
Um no. What a jerk. I'm sorry that happened. Good luck with that.
Omniprism 15
Tell him also he has to cover the cage at night to signify to the bird it's time to sleep.
1947Chevy 17
Without consulting you she has no way of enforcing it
awanfitzsimmons 3
Stand yourself out and reject his wishes ! but if he keeps wanting you to pay half of it, say to him that you will agree with it unless he cleans up the bird mess, that would be appropriate i guess...
lifesentence 11
Tell your roommate you'll pay for half of what it costs to put the bird down
amisenho 11
I wonder how the parrot-child custody battles will play out once you or your roommate move.
Glitterjugz 1
If your roommate feels entitled to get the bird and not tell you and expect you to pay half than you are entitled to do whatever you want with half the bird. I heard grilled parrot wing is delish!