Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML
Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
Nsc 0
You should go outside in a ski mask, then. That's not nearly as suspicious.
Aviva1313 0
Have you been having blackouts?
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Comments (294)
mds9986 24
Bad save is bad
zapte 7
Wow, how pathetic must be your life #2
Tripartita 45
Yes, I was deliberately being self-deprecating.
Jhk9000 23
Touché!
mylsux 15
In mother Russia, you don't hit cars, the cars hit you
capnjacksparrow 7
Why tf are you being downvoted???
lucythomson 23
Well, often in China (at least I think it's China) if you hit someone with your car, you're advised to you back and run them over a bit more to kill them, as the cost of the hospital is far greater than the cost of 'manslaughter'.
Csenecal 7
That's the funniest thing I've heard all day
dwilliams2081 10
I can imagine this playing out the same way as when on Drake and Josh, everyone thought Josh was the Theater Thug
bbroughton 6
Plot twist:He is the rapist